Empower Yourself: You were created to be powerful

Since the beginning of time, people were created to be powerful. Sadly, especially in this day in age, the term "powerful" has taken on a negative meaning. I believe this is because many people have used their power for evil instead of good. However, power is not a bad thing. Power is a great thing, and we should all strive to be powerful people. When we're not powerful, we're not truly ourselves.

I'm currently studying at the School of Ministry at Bethel Church. There is so much freedom in this place; I don't think I've ever felt this empowered and hopeful before, and I can already tell that simply being a part of it is changing me from the inside out. I've realized that the reason people experience so much freedom and power here is because Bethel highly values free will and choice. We've had choices since the beginning, and I think if God did not want us to be powerful, He would not have given us choices or a voice in any decision - He is God after all, and could easily have made us robots that He controls and manipulates from Heaven. But true love involves choice, and God is True Love.

So what does this mean for us and why is it important? Well, first off, I think knowing we have a choice releases us from a victim mindset. It's true - most people can't do anything about the fact that they are victimized, but what they choose to do after the fact is completely up to them. I personally have spent too much time in the past wallowing over certain relationships, people, pain and hurtful situations. Because of fear and insecurity, I would choose to meditate and dwell on the situation instead of taking steps to change and grow. And no, this process is not easy. It involves forgiveness, discipline of thought life, change and surrender for starters. But realizing that you were always meant to have a voice and make a choice is incredibly liberating and necessary to our advancement and well-being as humans.

I don't know what challenges you're facing right now, but take a moment and think about your response to that situation. Are you acting as a powerful person who has a choice in the matter? I do realize there are some things that you cannot change, no matter how powerful you are. But as far as the things that are in your control, what are you doing to make changes? The quicker we realize that we have choices in a situation, and the quicker we take action (even if it's simply changing our thoughts), the quicker we will begin to move forward and grow as individuals.

Some of us are still contending with situations that happened a year ago, or even five years ago. And maybe we've been dealing with a victim mindset and not taking appropriate measures as the powerful people that we are, and that's OK. But let's make today different. Let's make powerful choices as powerful people. We have been given the incredible gift of free will and choice, and what we do with that will affect how we advance and prosper as humans! :)

A Beautiful Break-up

Have you ever been in an unhealthy romantic relationship? Wow – look at that show of hands. Looks like most of us have. I don’t know how we get in to these relationships, but I do know that it’s way easier than getting out of them. I think that in the beginning all appears to be normal. Our attraction to the person often overrides any initial doubt we may have. Then somehow, months down the road, we find ourselves in unhealthy relationships that aren’t life giving, but tend to devalue us and invite all kinds of darkness into our lives – anxiety, insecurity, and bitterness to name a few. In the midst of these storms, it’s hard to see that. It’s hard to see and believe the truth when you’re living in the dark.

I realized recently that though I’ve considered myself single for years, I’ve actually been in a serious, long-term relationship with one of the worst boyfriends this world has ever seen, and I've decided to officially break up. I met this “boyfriend” when I was young. We met about 20 years ago when I was in a really vulnerable place. Looking back, I think he saw a scared little girl and made his move. He knew that more than anything she wanted to feel in control, safe and loved. Though that is nothing he could ever provide her, he put on a mask and tricked her into thinking he could. They began to spend so much time together that at some point along the way, being with him just seemed so normal. Though she never felt safe or loved by him, he made her believe that there was no way she could ever leave their relationship – she began to feel like a prisoner. And what’s worse, when things in her life became rocky, he would make her feel even more unworthy, sad, scared, and confused.

At this point, you're probably wondering who "he" is. You’ve no doubt met him before, and many of you have been caught up in a scandalous affair with him as well – no, he has not remained faithful to me only. His name is Fear, and as mentioned before, I’ve made the decision recently to completely break up. And it’s not one of those break ups where we are going to try to remain friends and stay in contact once in a while. I know he wants that and more, but this has to be the most drastic break up I’ve ever had. I’ve deleted his phone number and removed him from all of my social media accounts. Though he tries to reach out (a lot), I make every attempt to reject him. I am believing that as time moves on, he will try less and less to engage with me and will eventually give up.

This is not a possible task on my own. You see, I’m in a new relationship with Jesus. We’ve been together for about 7 years, and though I’ve loved Him all along, it’s been hard to give myself fully to Him because of my ongoing relationship with my ex – for they are enemies in nature. Jesus is the most patient and gracious man that’s ever lived. So He’s waited on me my whole life. Even in moments and seasons where I gave in fully to Fear, He never left my side. Actually, He has drastically pursued me. He’s told me all along that our relationship is a brand new beginning - I’m new and I don’t have to give in to Fear anymore, for His perfect Love fights Fear. He’s the One who’s told me to simply stop inviting Fear in, to stop talking to him and engaging with him because I don’t have to anymore. My new relationship with Jesus is full of unconditional love, peace, acceptance, and joy. And as I give more of my time and energy to this relationship, there will not be room for the bad ones. My new “boyfriend” wants all of me – because I actually belong to Him and no one else.

This is not going to be an easy journey. I am aware that at any moment, Fear could show up at my front door and remind me of lies that I have believed for so long. But I’m making a choice. I’m choosing Jesus. I’m choosing Love. I’m choosing to believe what He tells me, which sounds really different and strange because I've spent so much of my life listening to my ex. I believed his lies and manipulations: “you’re not really loved”, “you can’t do this”, “what will they think of you?”, “you’re never going to be free of this”, “this is the way it is so get used to it”, and “you’re not good enough”. It’s sad that this went on for so long, but I’m eternally grateful that Jesus rescued me and has remained faithful to me all of these years. I can’t ever repay Him and He doesn’t ask me to. He’s Love. He just desires to love me in ways I only dreamt of and always thought were for others and not myself. I was wrong. I am worthy of His love, simply because He says so. I’m His, and I can’t wait to see our story unfold.  So, goodbye, Fear – I don’t want to hear your voice or see your face again. You look and sound completely different than Jesus, and He is the one I choose to listen to and look at for the rest of my days.

Amen.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. (1 John 4:18 NLT)

The Most Basic and Pure Kind of Love

About six weeks ago, I made a huge life change and moved to Redding, CA to attend the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I moved here in obedience as I felt the Lord had been calling me to attend a ministry training for years. I had some expectations of what it might look like and what God might do here, but could never have imagined what God's real desire for me would be in this place.

Jesus is my first true love. He saved my life in 1,000,000 different ways, and I've never experienced such a love and passion for anyone or anything else in my life. When I met Him, I knew very little about God, the Bible, Ministry, Church or anything related to faith. But when I met Him, He changed my life completely - overnight. He crashed in and filled me with a desire for Himself that I can take little credit for. I would use the word "obsessed" to describe my passion and desire for Him in those first couple of years as a Christian. This obsession led me to become heavily involved in ministry, even moving to a different country to serve as a missionary, just so I could satisfy this desire to serve Him and know Him more. It all started with love - the most basic and pure kind of love.

To be honest, the trials and hard times I went through on the mission field were extremely difficult and discouraging. By God's grace, I count it a very sweet season, but I cannot say that I left more in love with God or more healthy as a whole than when I arrived. And even as I stepped out to continue ministering in Raleigh with the Community Hope mentoring program, I often felt like I was fighting to get back to that place of loving and obsessing over Him. The most basic and pure kind of love that I once experienced, that caused me to say "yes" to whatever He asked of me, seemed to be buried somewhere deep within. I have always loved God and have never lost my relationship or devotion to Him, but looking back, these past couple of years left me in an anxious state, rarely responding to trials in faith and just not thriving as a person. And it's my belief that God's children should be thriving above any other people group in the world. So, what went wrong?

Well, to give you a taste of the ways in which God has been encountering me here, I'll share an experience I had with Him just a few weeks ago that left me changed forever. I was doing a homework assignment and reading about the life of David in the Bible. God called David to be the greatest king the nation of Israel had ever known when David was a meek and mild shepherd. God took his "small life" and did something extravagant with it. This Scripture rocked me to the core. And God began to speak to me in such a clear way. He said, "Mallory, do you not know that I loved you first? I chose you first. You may choose me and worship me and serve me, but remember that I chose you and sang over you and died for you first." The Lord rebuked me in the most loving way. Though it changed my life completely when I received his love and grace and mercy in the beginning of our relationship, as time moved on, I began to try very hard to pour out my own love and devotion and energy to serve Him. My fire started going out because I was living out of a belief that loving Him and serving Him well had to come from me, and I forgot that He loves me more than I could ever love Him. The truth is that it all comes from Him - He pursued us first - He called us out of bondage - He gave us new names and new life - we didn't do that. And if we don't live from this truth, burn out and dryness will happen. I experienced it first-hand.

This is going to be a journey. We will never get to a place on this earth when we will fully know His love for us. But we should begin to walk in the right direction - letting Him take care of us and hold our hand and love us extravagantly. For we cannot truly know Him if we don't do so, and we cannot know who we are without first knowing who He is. I'm thankful for this new revelation, and it's just the beginning. If you don't feel like you've been actively receiving God's love for you, or if it's become difficult for you to believe that He loves you more than anything, go talk to Him. Invite Him to speak truth and life about that into your heart. It's so important for us to live as beloved children whose Father created us and chose us since the beginning of time to be extravagantly loved by Him. May we allow this Love to change us from the inside out, so that we can thrive in His Kingdom for His Glory.

Shalom!

Wake up... and Pray.

I've been thinking about the Church, and prayer in particular, and I want to pose a question: why do so many Christians pray as a last resort in the midst of chaos? Our country and world is in turmoil and when an issue arises the first thing we do is go post about it on Facebook, talk to our friends, and rant and rave about the "doom" that's upon us.

If we are Christians, we are victorious. Victorious people do not react in fear or hate. Victorious people do not behave and talk as if they don't know their ultimate destiny or don't worship a God who holds the whole world in His hands. We need a wake up call - quickly.

Christians need to stop being reactive. God is not reactive. He is proactive and His Spirit lives inside of us. Instead of being reactive to all of the bad things going on and not doing much to change them, we should be proactive. The best way to do this is to pray. It is what Jesus did when he faced hardship. It's actually what He did on a normal basis. He spent time with His father. He is (should be) our model and great example - not the world and it's ongoing shenanigans of destruction. Here is some scripture verses to think about as we think through the topic of prayer. Remember that this is the bread of LIFE.

-Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and should never give up. Luke 18:1

-Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

-Devote yourselves to prayer, be watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

-Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. 1 Timothy 2:8

-I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 1 Timothy 2:1-2

I think it's safe to say that prayer is pretty serious to God. But why? Well, since He is love, all that He does and thinks comes out of a place of love. I think He wants us to pray not only to be in constant communication with His children, but He wants us to change lives through prayer. He knows exactly what power He's placed in us - for it is His power. If we only realized what that truly meant and what our prayers really can do, we might be more inclined to pray on a regular basis. 

Church, I am beautifully imperfect. I have my own conviction about how little I pray and how much I do other things that are ineffective in the Kingdom and for the world. But I do have concern that in the midst of political chaos, social injustice, and moral corruption, we are not acting as God calls us to. The problem with that is that we are not being part of a proactive solution, and God our Father is all about proactive solutions. Just look at Jesus and His life.

Let's not go forward full of worry, confusion, and anger, talking to anyone who will hear us, trying desperately to make our point and prove others wrong. Let's not go forward acting like we don't know what in the world to do. We have God's Spirit and His Holy Word. We have the best to offer. Let's start acting like it. And let's start with prayer.

A moment from church...

I sat behind a beautiful family at church this morning - a mother, father and three blonde-haired triplet boys. They were small, maybe 5 or 6 years old. I'm an observer so there I sat floating my attention between the sermon and the family in front of me. 

What struck me most from watching the family was the affection one of the boys had for his dad. The parents had strategically placed the boys on either side of them. The "middle" boy, who appeared to be the more rambunctious of the three sat on the father's left and the older boy sat on his right. I watched as the father would scold the one on the left for being restless and talking too much during the time of prayer, and the child on his right sat totally at peace nestled up against his chest. I caught moments where the affectionate boy would stare up at his dad and smile, and when the father knelt down to pray, he would follow. There was a clear infatuation there. The boy wanted to be just like his father and do just what he did. Though I am confident that the love the father had for the two boys was the exact same, there was a clear deep bonding between the father and the son who held him in such high regard. 

As I watched this scene play out in front of me, I started thinking about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I firmly believe that no matter what I do and no matter what I say, his love for me is unchanging. However, I wonder if I'm sometimes more like the restless child who keeps talking when I shouldn't, endures discipline, and disregards the loving father looking down at me. I so want to be the other child. I want to look up proudly at my Father and desire to be exactly like Him. I want to do what He does and I want to lay my head on His chest. I want people around me to see and notice the love I have for my Father, and be impacted by it. 

I was deeply encouraged today. I not only saw the love the child had for his father, but the pleasure the child's love brought to him. God will never force us to love him or spend time with him or even know Him. It's simply not in His perfect nature to do so. But I believe he finds great pleasure when we do choose to love Him, and to listen, and to lay our heads on His chest. And how much greater is He than an earthly father whose love is not perfect and who will inevitably make mistakes in their relationships with us. In my relationship with God, I'm going to keep desiring to be like that little boy - loving, caring, affectionate - the daughter He looks on with a smile. 

Freedom in Choices

Decisions are so hard. Can I get an 'amen'? Well, decisions are incredibly hard for me at least. I noticed this about myself at a young age - an inability to make a quick decision because I would think so much about all of the different options, their possible outcomes, and would ultimately be scared to commit to one in particular. I hated making decisions because it eliminates the possibility of the other option. It also means that I'm making a definite choice; and what if that choice is wrong and the other one could have been better? This is usually what is swirling in my mind in the midst of decisions, especially big ones.

The biggest and hardest decision I have ever made was leaving the Dominican Republic, a place where I lived and served and grew and changed over the course of three years. I loved it so much and the people there became a second family to me. When the time came for me to leave or stay, to sign another contract or go, I was perplexed. There was a deep sense within me that said, 'it's time to go', but my heart was attached and I had planted roots there and ultimately was desiring the desire to stay. After months of tormented and scared thoughts and a divided heart, I made the official decision to leave. I cried a lot and spent months in the States truly believing I had made a mistake. "I messed up - should I go back? What do I do now?"

Obviously I stayed here in the States. I did not return. The deep sense of needing to leave it behind was still present, even though I missed it and wanted to continue enjoying the selfless love of the people and speaking Spanish and going on motorcycle trips and looking at the amazing stretch of mountains into eternity. And loving the kids and people I served. It was hard, but in the end it was the right decision. I just made my first visit there after leaving a year and a half ago, and that truth was confirmed. I did feel a calling to leave and I've been blessed in so many ways by making that decision.

I share this because there was a lot of fear mixed up in my decision, and a sense of wanting it all and not wanting to lose anything. As I move on in life and realize that I will continue making decisions daily, honing my decision-making skills (that do exist by golly) will be important. I think a lot of my journey over the past few years with several large decisions has been God strengthening and teaching me. He's proved Himself faithful through them all, and He's brought me to a place that says, 'I don't want to continue analyzing and thinking about decisions until I'm blue in the face. I want to follow and trust the Morning Star deep within me who always guides me in the right way.'

The truth is, dear child (Mallory and readers), that this is a beautiful journey we're on with God. He is not the God of confusion and uncertainty - He's the God of peace, joy, love, freedom, grace, mercy, and the list of goodness goes on. God created us with the ability to analyze and make our own choices, but the analyzing should not outweigh courage and trust. Of course God wants us to make decisions with care. But when we feel lead by Him to make a certain decision (Jesus said, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me."), we should go for it. He is constantly creating newness - new seasons, new opportunities, new growth. It is not like Him to leave things as they are (thank goodness). So, when He does call us into newness of life, He wants us to follow. He knows it's going to be hard and He's compassionate, but He also knows how awesome it's going to be and wants us to get on board! He did not make a promise that the right thing would be easy. It may not appear to be 'perfect' and make absolute since. But I really believe this: God gave us the gift of making our own decisions, He is part of those decisions if you let Him be, and we don't have to be scared because He will take our whole lives and make them into a beautiful part of our redemption story. He works good in ALL things for those who love Him.

I'm reflecting a lot about my own personal experiences and why I don't like making decisions and what God says about them. I'd encourage you to do the same. Is there something God has been laying on your heart or even telling you to do, and you just can't quite make the decision to do it? Is it fear or uncertainty that is gripping you? Well, if so, compare your answers to God's answers. He's the God of freedom. We have freedom to make our choices! And He helps us and guides us! And we don't have to be scared! Let's conclude with two specific points of action: look forward and not behind, and remember that the outcome, whether good or bad, is not bigger than God's promise to make things good no matter what. He will weave our mistakes and flaws into the beautiful tapestry of our beautiful stories. Be free - it's His gift to you.

Holding on...

I think one of the most important things we can do as God's children is to hold on to His promises. Though we spend our lifetime learning to trust Him more and growing in faith, I think it's important to take inventory and reflect on how much we are actually trusting Him in the moment we're living in. It seems to me that in times of distress, most of us will turn to that sense of trust or faith simply because we feel we have nothing left. I have learned that it's not really the best way to function as His children. It's like being that child that only calls their parent when they are in trouble or comes home when they have nowhere else to turn.

God makes a lot of promises in His word. A lot. The whole Bible is full of knowledge that leads to the Person of God - who He is, what He's like. And everything He says is true, and He can not lie. But let's not continue saying things like "God keeps His promises", "He can't lie", "Just trust God", if we do not truly mean it. They are nice Christian sayings that we've adopted if we've spent enough time in Bible studies or church. But if we do not believe them - if we don't meditate on their truth - if we do not put them into practice on a regular basis, our words are empty and don't bring the life that they should.

I love this passage from the Message:

Romans 4:13-15: That famous promise God gave Abraham - that he and his children would possess the earth - was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God's decision to put everything together for him, which Abraham then entered when he believed. If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal. A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise - and God's promise at that - you can't break it.

This is a wonderful illustration of what God's promises are like. They are firm, unshakable and not dependent on human performance. God's promises totally depend on Him - they do not depend on us at all. If we know then that what God speaks is totally true and non-dependent on us, then why do we live as if they aren't true and do depend on us? Is that the way you view God's promises?

I would challenge you, reader, (and myself) to pick some of God's promises, and believe them. Really believe them. The one I've been focusing on over the past few months is from Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. This verse says to me that no matter what happens in my life, whether good or bad, whether I cause it or not, God will use it for my good. He will turn it into a positive for me. Well, if that's true, I can't lose! I may have to walk through tough times, but in the end, everything will be alright and I will be on top of my situation, because that is God's perfect will for me!

Again, let's go forward believing God. Start with a couple of His promises, and practice believing them, even on a "normal day" where you aren't normally tuned into those promises. We don't want to live our life wrapped up in a lie - we want to live it free in His truth and grace! Enjoy His promises, dear child - He's perfect and He won't let you down.