God the Rescuer!

my tree :)

So, as it's been several (cough cough - six) weeks since my last blog post, I was totally planning on writing about my time here in the D.R. during Christmas. This was my first Christmas season without my family and so far from home. It's been different and a time of growth, and there are things to catch you all up on, but I've been thinking a lot lately about God as a Rescuer, and that is the true Spirit of Christmas anyways. Thus will be my focus.

I'm guessing I've been thinking so much about the Superman character of God because of the ministry I work with right now: Kids Alive International. I knew this before I got here because of past, brief interactions, but it has become ever more clear to me that this ministry is a huge vessel God uses to rescue His children, all around the world. It's true that through our skewed vision in this life, it is often difficult to truly see how God recues and saves. I was reminded of that yesterday when a fellow missionary said to me, "God is always good, but it is so darn hard to see sometimes when one of the children you've grown to love was found abused with sperm all over her." It also reminded me of a few months ago when I was really bonding with a little Haitian girl at my school. We were playing and laughing and it was so easy to see Jesus through her eyes and smile, I just knew she was a child of His. I left her for a few minutes and sat down next to a co-worker who informed me that she had gone missing in the past couple of years for a week or so, and apparently when retured had been raped several times. Men on motorcycles came and abducted her (apparently that's more common to the Haitian "foreign" children here). I looked over at her. She was smiling and my heart broke. This is incredibly difficult - where's God?

Whenever I ponder this and try to work through it, the Holy Spirit brings to the forefront of my mind how much evil He restrains. If He didn't, our world would be even more dark and twisted than it already is. Children are beaten and abused, but God brings them to ANIJA and the other sites here for them to be loved on. If they are hungry at home, they can come and get at least one big meal per day. In hopeless situations, God has brought these children to Kids Alive's doorstep so to speak. And what more - these children's souls are being saved, and one day they will not experience any more pain, and God knows that when we forget.

To show God's mighty saving hand further, I want to tell a bit about some of the Haitian boys here at my school. I've grown quite fond of them and in the weeks preceding Christmas break, I felt like we really started to connect. There are four at school that seem to be very close. Two in particular I was noticing to be inseparable (I'll call them Noah and John). They both live at the Ark, the Kids Alive residential homes here, and attend ANIJA. One day as I was closing up the library, something I am some days admittingly looking forward to at the end of a long day, Noah came up begging to change his book before the bus came. I reluctantly told him, "OK, you have like two minutes." While he was rapidly browsing the books, I looked over and noticed John staring in the window. "John, you need to leave, the library is closed now." "I'm waiting on Noah." What is the deal with these kids? Can they not do anything without the other!

I was discussing this with my roommate later that night and she let me know a little bit about their background. Both of their families were killed in the earthquake in Haiti. At about 10 years old and completely alone, hungry and no place to go, they started travelling together searching for hope at the border of the D.R. I'm not sure of the specifics, but I do know they found themselves in the D.R. and were sent by authorities to live with some of the nuns in an orphanage. When it was time to find somewhere else to go, Kids Alive was contacted and they are now living safely in the homes here, learning more about Jesus with a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. God the Rescuer!

That is one of my "favorite" stories I've heard because I can see how strong the bond is that they have formed. The boys have been through more at 10 years old than some people go through in a lifetime. You can see it in their eyes and faces too- that they've really been through something. But they are also very sweet and happy, and I am hoping to continue even more of a relationship with them in the coming year.

It's hard to know some of these stories because it is sad to even imagine children going through what some of them do, especially if you grew up in a very different way. But God shows Himself faithful to these children day in and day out. And when He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to this earth, He was on the greatest rescue mission of all time, for all people. I was thinking about that on Christmas - a little helpless baby in a manger was going to save God's children one day... was going to be the ultimate Rescuer.

This Christmas season was different, but definitely nice to have time to get rejuvenated before the New Year. I was able to attend many of the Christmas performances at the school, one of which I was a part of. There was a Christmas celebration at school also for all of the Sponsored children. They got lunch and presents, sang and played games. It was really cool to be a part of, especially being the Sponsorship Coordinator for the school. I have spent a lot of my time growing closer with some of the fellow missionaries, primarily one family that stayed around who work at a different site than me and I did not know well before. I've also been able to start to form some deeper relationships with some Dominicans. I spent Christmas Eve at my friend Kenya's house and we ate a delicious meal followed by a Merengue/Bachata lesson for me (picture of us below). There has been a lot of motorcycle and Spanish practice too, so that has been a huge blessing! It has been a bit of a rollercoaster since I arrived in October, but I feel like I'm on my way "up" right now and looking forward to jumping into a new semester with the kids, refreshed and a bit more comfortable here than I was *11 weeks ago*.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers! I am so blessed for my support system back home. Have a safe, blessed, and happy 2012!

When they cry out to the LORD because of their oppressors He will send them a savior and defender, and He will rescue them. Isaiah 19:20

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:9-10

First "Roadtrip" and Such

So this past week here in the D.R., I spent my time up on the North Shore at a Kids Alive site there called Caraballo. There are three new missionaries, Kristen, Brent, and Letitia, who were headed to Haiti and stopped in to travel in the D.R. and see Kids Alive here before crossing the border. The four of us hopped aboard a bus and took the 3 hour trip up this past Monday after they visited Jarabacoa. My reason for accompanying was to help with the Christmas project for Sponsors at the site where there was no one able to take on the task at that time.

I enjoyed the experience, mostly because it was so different. Same country, but as we know in the States, one part of a nation can look and feel very different from another. I was only a few hours North and noticed new vocabulary, types of people, and way of living. Another reason for enjoying my time was that I actually got a chance to go to the beach for a couple of hours, something I definitely was not expecting! It was very beautiful, but I don't know how "caribbean" it looked that specific day because the waves were going nuts. There was no one in the water and the one guy that tried to swim dislocated his arm, and subsequently approached us to ask for help - because apparently all Americans know what to do as far as health is concerned. Very interesting observation from my time here thus far. Being at the beach was still great though and the sunset was breathtaking.

The ride to the beach was interesting as well, as we took public transportation. Thankfully Emily, a missionary that has been living there with Kids Alive for the past two years, was our host the whole time and able to navigate us through the process. She also speaks Spanish beautifully, which is both comforting when you're with her and inspiring. So basically the transportation is called "gua guas" (no idea how to spell it). They look a lot like a van/small bus. The door is wide open and you basically just raise up your hand as if calling a cab; they will slow down so you can hop in. One would comfortably fit about 12 people and Emily has been in one with 30 - we had 22 in ours the other day. On the way to the beach, I was sitting on the edge of the seat closest to the wide open door. Talk about a rush! That experience was one of the real culture shocks I've experienced because it was totally normal to everyone in the van except for me, and maybe the rest of the missionaries as well.

Above is a picture of Caraballo. Every morning Emily, Katie (my roommate who came up later), and I would ride up to the care center with the teachers, who were all Dominican besides Emily. The site is centered in the middle of a Haitian village, so the people obviously look much different there, mostly because of how much darker their skin is. They are so beautiful. It was wonderful spending time with those children, and eye opening as well because these kids do not live in Kids Alive care - they simply attend the care center for half of the day, while going to public school the other half, and still live at home. The children are rambunctious, but loving, much like the children I work with here in Jarabacoa. Because of the lack of educational prosperity in the public schools though, many of them could not even spell their name while doing the sponsorship projects with us, and they might be eight years old or so. It is things like that that catch me off guard when I'm getting frustrated with them and then realize they aren't doing what I ask because they can't. Moments like that are teaching me a lot and helping me to be more gracious I'm sure.

Above is a picture of the kids in Bible class.

The week was incredibly successful. We finished almost all of the children's projects, something I saw as impossible at the beginning of the week because we had almost 300 kids to rally up and work with us. I saw it as almost miraculous and certainly an answer to prayers of ours. I loved meeting new children who are being served by Kids Alive, and also seeing the way that they structure their days. They have a time of singing praise music and Bible class every day. I am so thankful God is speaking to them through Kids Alive and blessing them, when materialistically most of them have next to nothing.

I am continuing to enjoy living here in the Dominican and especially working for this great, God-fearing ministry. The people are wonderful and I am getting more comfortable in my role as librarian, as well as starting to take on more sponsorship roles here in the next week or so. I did start riding the infamous motorcycle yesterday and was not incredibly successful. I took a little spill and burned my leg pretty badly - there is actually a name for it: the Dominican burn. It's almost like a tatoo here, so I guess that's cool ... definitely hurts though. Please pray that I would be safer next time while riding it and that I would receive supernatural confidence and courage to go forth with it. Also, to keep adapting to my roles and life here. Thank you very, very much!

Until next time ... Colossians 3:1-4 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

My First Quinceañera

Last night I experienced my first quinceañera here in the Dominican Republic. It was something that I really looked forward to and was not disappointed. This specific fiesta was held at the Ark - the Kids Alive residential homes here in Jarabacoa. Two girls actually celebrated their 15th birthdays last night and it was my understanding that they both grew up at the Ark. What a special place to have such a special event. In their culture, this is sort of a right of passage for women and is certainly the biggest birthday they celebrate. The one I attended last night could have easily been a small wedding reception with dressy attire, lots of food, lavish decorations, color scheme, and the guests of honor dressed in beautiful gowns (although they were red, not white). Both girls were wearing crowns as well. They must have felt like princesses, and when I got to talk to one of them, all I could think to say was "congratulations" (not really knowing what else to say) and she said "thanks, I'm really really excited". It was sweet and must be the moment where they feel they are really growing up, and of course most girls are excited when they are in a ball gown with a crown on their head and a group of people there just for them.

Below is a picture of all the missionaries with the quinceaneras.

I love how Kids Alive takes on the culture of its "host culture". We, as missionaries, are totally outnumbered when we are at the Ark or the school Anija where I work. Everything is very Dominican, and there is no sense of nudging them toward the American way. We are here for them, to serve them, and that is clear. Praise God for this attitude because to be honest on my own I would probably, like most, want to criticize some things they do or don't do here, and tack on some of my own traditions and standards. Even at work, that is the hardest thing for me. When I get frustrated with the children sometimes I have to stop and think for a second - is what they are doing or how they are acting really wrong, and at the bottom line unbiblical, or is it just different from what I'm used to and I'm just feeling inferior? Does it deserve punishment and frustration? God knows and I'm just praying He'll reveal more to me regarding how to discern those things, and teach me to love these children better - after all, that's what I'm here for.

Kids enjoying the fiesta!

Sometimes it's hard to grasp what these children have been through, and what many are still going through as many ANIJA students are in other's care outside of our school walls. Last night I was playing and talking with a few at the Ark who just seem so happy and it's clear they are being loved well right now. I started thinking for a moment about their past stories and it startled me. If they are here in Kids Alive care, then they have a traumatic history - someone may have thrown them away in the garbage, someone may have abused them, or refrained from feeding or caring for them at all in their first years here on earth. When those thoughts arise in my mind, I'm taken out of this place of joy. I start to feel pity/sadness/anger that those things happened to them. I'm praying God makes my heart stronger, so in the future, in that next moment I can go back to playing and rejoice in our great Lord and SAVIOR who did rescue them from those situations and have placed them safely in the able hands of Kids Alive.

Katie, my roommate, and I are headed up to the Northshore tomorrow to help with Sponsorship projects for Christmas. Each child who has a sponsor (and many have multiple) do a project for them. I'm hoping for a smooth, safe trip and for us to complete the task given us. It's exciting to think about seeing another Kids Alive site and meeting many of the other children that we're serving here in the D.R. Please keep us in your prayers!

Thanks as always for your support and care ... my family and friends mean so much to me, especially in this crazy time of transition into my new life here! Until next time ... Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil 4:8

Sponsorship is Awesome!

So, I'm continuing my work here in the D.R. and have just been so amazed and encouraged by the ministry I am now apart of. My main duty so far has been Librarian (Bibliotecarian) at the school in Jarabacoa, ANIJA, but soon I will take on even more duties as Sponsorship Coordinator for the school. I am so looking forward to this because I have seen just how effective the program is in the past week.

First of all, the children are so enthusiastic about their sponsors, or godmothers and godfathers as they call them, and especially about receiving letters or little gifts from them. I've actually watched some of their faces go from a wide smile to a long frown when Katie (the current Coordinator) tells them that their sponsor didn't send anything. It must be making such an impact on them. A dentist team is here this week, which has been neat to witness. A few of them sponsor kids here and have gotten to spend time with them in their homes as well as at school. There is a mutual feeling of excitement on both sides, and afterward I saw many kids writing to their sponsors that they wanted them to visit.

Above is a picture of one of the dentist hygienists working at ANIJA!

One of the most beautiful parts of sponsorship I've seen is the long-term effect it has on these kids, who inevitably grow into young adults. If they stay in the Kids Alive program, their sponsors have the opportunity to help fund their education in a decent high school here, and even university. I attended a meeting with the students who are now studying on the college level thanks to their sponsors. We worshipped the living God together and had some devotional time as well. It is so great to not only see these people from broken, almost hopeless situations rise up and reach for the aspirations of their heart and mind, but to see them pursuing the Lord. Many of them work in ANIJA as well, or at least help out with after school activities like OWANSA. OWANSA is a time where the children get together in the afternoon and play games, have a Bible lesson and memorize verses. Each child is on a certain team and the teams get points from memorization and games. It seems like such a great way to nudge kids into the Word at an early age. I've attended two times and will soon have my own group of kids to lead during that time. Below is a picture of kids playing a game at OWANSA.

Sponsoring a child is such a special aspect of this ministry, and being with these children the past few weeks has certainly shown me that. I feel a bit convicted about my lack of communication with the child I sponsor in Peru, Jasmin. Seeing how much it lights up their day to hear from their sponsors makes me want to write and send things often so she knows I care about her - these children are craving that attention.

If any of you reading are interested in sponsoring a child, please get in contact with me (via facebook or email) and I can let you know what I know and who I know that needs a sponsor. You can also visit www.kidsalive.org to check out the children who need sponsors... around the world! I assure you, they are very "real" and very in need of love and care. Sponsors make that possible.

I'm currently in the middle of my week of house/baby/dog/cat sitting and it's gone well so far. PRAISE GOD. Above is a picture of Natalie and Lucas working on some of their homeschooling! I've been able to practice my hand at teaching and cooking, two things I don't have a lot of experience in. It's fun to get to try new things here all the time :) Praying for a healthy/safe/fun weekend with the kids.

Until next time ... 1 Corinthians 13:13 - And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

The D.R. so FAR...

Above is a picture of the Ark, the Kids Alive residential homes here.

I've been in Jarabacoa, D.R. for one week now! I feel like this week has been a bit of a whirlwind and I'm finally able to sit down and ponder what I've just experienced. Let me say that I am feeling very excited at this point for what the next two years hold.

God has blessed me with a great roommate, first of all. Katie (above) has been here over a year now, and has been a HUGE help so far. She has such a laid back, peaceful personality and demeanor that has been so wonderful over this week of transition. I feel completely comfortable asking questions (which, poor thing, have been about 100 per day) and we've already shared meals and laughs together. There is another Katie as well, who lives right next door with her husband Michael. She has been really fun to hang out with and works at the same school as me - ANIJA - as the English teacher. Everyone else I've met here have been wonderful as well. They are so helpful and I've been invited by almost everyone to a meal or birthday party. Talk about feeling included as the new girl!

Below is a pic of some of the kids working on projects for their sponsors...

The kids had a crazy hat competition.... I was so impressed with their creativity and how much fun they had with this project!

My favorite part so far, which simultaneously has been the hardest, is the kids. I started work on Monday, training some in the library and helping with sponsorship projects. These children are amazing. They are so excited to meet me before they even know who I am, and just wanted to hug on me and hold my hand all the time. It was also difficult because a) I've never worked with that many children at one time before b) many of them have very loud, "big" personalities and it was difficult for me to control them c) I still don't know Spanish very well, and when the children mumble, as most do, it's hard to understand them. There were many times where I felt frustrated and overwhelmed, and just prayed that God would fill me with peace and patience so I didn't come across as someone who was being cruel and doesn't care about them. I thought some this week about how much influence adults have over children: the way they love, speak to one another, and live their life. I really want to be even a small influence on their lives while I'm here, but I feel like there is such a fine line between showing the children love, gentleness, and patience, and then disciplining them well and not letting them take advantage of you. At this point, I have no idea how you do that, but it is something I'm going to strive to improve on. I want to learn how to love people better in general and I'm sure I can learn a lot while here and in this position.

Below is a child, Jendersor, who lives at the Ark. He is so sweet and obsessed with my sunglasses...

This next week is going to be a little different than the previous one where I was working every day in the library, reading to the smaller children and managing the older ones as they came in to check out books, or just hang out during recess. We are not having library classes and there is no school on Thursday and Friday. So I'll have some good time to get the library more organized and see if there are any systems that might work better for me and be more efficient. It is going to be a busy week though because the Director of Kids Alive in South America has asked Katie and I to stay at his house and care for his four children while he and his wife attend a meeting in Africa. We will be house/baby/dog sitting starting this coming Wednesday and finishing the next. I've never, ever nannied for that long and feel a bit intimidated. Prayers for wisdom and peace in the midst of all that!

As many of you also may be wondering, I will officially start driving my motorcycle this afternoon (Saturday). The Director at ANIJA, so basically my boss, is going to give me lessons. I have to say, this is the thing that scares me the most right now, but I'm hoping for a safe lesson and that I will feel confidence as I begin so I don't just freak out and crash :)

Above is a pic of "my" library :)

There is so much going on all the time here. I'm trying to get used to this life where things are constantly changing and it seems like plans can happen or fall through just minutes before they start. It's fun though and hopefully I will gain an even more spontaneous side that I see in so many of the missionaries here.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying! It means so much to me. Please pray that as I start even more new things in the next week, I will continue to have smooth transition - that Jesus will continue to protect me, but even more than that, just that I can feel His presence. I want Him to be at the center of my world even in the midst of all these changes! Please pray also for Katie and I as we care for the VanDerMolen children - that it won't be too chaotic and that everyone stays safe. Until next time ... Hebrews 13:8

From Colorado

Can you believe this beautiful rainbow?! The most vibrant I've ever seen...

I've been "living" in Colorado for about a week now, and what a week it has been. I'm attending Missionary Training International (MTI) here outside of Colorado Springs. To be honest, my attitude was not great upon coming here. I am eager to start my work and life in the Dominican, and it seemed to be another "mandatory" step before getting there. Praise God that my attitude changed within a few days after realizing how crucial this time will be before I head to the field.

I am learning a lot about myself, God, me and God, and how awareness of those can help immensely on the mission field. There are also great interpersonal and cross cultural adjusting skills that we are learning. I don't think I realized how many expectations I have for my new life, and how many of those will probably never produce or become reality. Without this training I suppose I would have kept riding this "roller coaster" without a lot of crucial examination of myself and what exactly I am stepping into. By the end of this, I have faith that I will be a little less blind sighted by some of the experiences and feelings I have while abroad. Praise God for this opportunity, and for His grace in giving this to me, even when I was being prideful and having a bad attitude about the whole thing.

There are about 43 other "almost missionaries" in this building - living, eating and working together each day. It has been rare to be able to talk to a missionary in the past year, let alone someone who is in the same spot in life as me, preparing to go. Sharing my feelings and talking with each of them has been incredibly refreshing and encouraging. It has also completely wiped out my view of what a missionary is like. Before I decided to do this I think I had an image in my head of a really religious person, who acted perfectly and had a perfect relationship with God. Although I knew that wasn't true when I realized this is what I was called to do, I am even more convinced now that missionaries are just people who love Jesus, but are as broken and in need of rescue as the rest of the world... a fantastic realization for me ;)

Once again I have been placed in a just beautiful place. I seem to keep meeting with mountains during my travels. I have been surrounded by them for the past few months, which I think is neat because Jarabacoa is in the mountains as well. I am feeling a greater connection all the time to them and their beauty. I also continue to grow in my adventurous and "outdoorsy" side. I went on a long hike yesterday that I really enjoyed, and may even go camping while here! All of the people are so much fun to be around, and I just wasn't expecting to once again enjoy these "mandatory" things set before me. How have I not learned to trust God completely!? He always seems to know best, and that is being made more and more clear to me all the time. After a pretty fast-paced, tiring time in Antigua, He is giving me rest I need here in Colorado - it is just a different type of adventure and fun. Still challenging and tiring at times, but more in an emotional sense. I am so thankful to have this opportunity before I go.

I want to say a big THANKS to those of you that have been praying. I am getting so excited about the work that lies ahead of me - that children in the Dominican come to know our precious Father and Savior. I would ask for more prayers of God's Spirit in me as I am navigated through this time and prepare to leave. This week is supposedly more "intense" than the last, so I ask for prayers for enthusiasm and God's wisdom/discernment in what I need to learn.

So much love and blessings to each of you reading! Romans 12:12 - Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer ;)

Manos de Jesus

I just wrapped up my last weekend in Guatemala. Once again, the Lord blessed Darby and I with protection and guidance. We decided to travel, just the two of us, to Lake Atitlan and Chichicastenango to visit her friends from church who are missionaries there. Lake Atitlan is a beautiful lake in Guatemala surrounded by volcanoes, mountains, and a few small towns. We bartered our way onto a boat with a man named Santiago and checked out a couple of them. I enjoyed getting a real authentic view of what a Guatemalan town is like. Antigua is wonderful, but touristy and very Americanized. There were of course vendors out in the street in these towns, but the rest is fairly "real" to what Guatemalan and Mayan culture is like. We did laugh though because in the town we ate breakfast, we both ordered "desayuno americano". When it came out, the majority of the plate was covered in french fries. Just a single example of the view people in Central America have of those in North America - always amusing and interesting!

The lake was beautiful and I enjoyed my time there, but one of the most impacting experiences I've had since being here was in Chichi, a small town up in the mountains of Guate that holds one of the most famous markets in the world. A family from Darby's church is serving there and they were kind enough to let us stay with them for a night. They are part of a ministry called Pray America, and the project in Chichi is "Manos de Jesus". The focus of the mission is mainly on building houses for widows, feeding impoverished children, and building stoves for families. They are also renovating a large house right now to be used as a home for abused girls; it will hopefully be up and running in the next six months.

View of Chichi.

It was interesting checking out another mission and seeing/hearing about the impact they are having in the area. The Gardeners (Darby's friends) host the service teams there and last week was the first week in about 3 months they have not had a team to host. Praise the Lord so many people have felt lead to go down there and work. It truly is a remarkable ministry. Even more interesting than touring the ministry site and hearing about what they do was observing and listening to a family that just spent their first 8 months as missionaries. They were very honest about emotions they have felt and struggles they have encountered, which I appreciated. Upon meeting them, I immediately felt the strength of their family. I don't know if it just happened during this experience, but they are extremely respectful to one another and just seemed to be best friends. That is definitely a blessing that came out of their decision to come.

Below is an aerial shot of Monte Flor - the main headquarters of the ministry.

We attended church with them on Sunday and God certainly had our attendance in His specific plan. Their church is very small - just a single room in a hotel/school in Chichi. The pastor there was a pastor of a megachurch back in the States, but left to be a missionary in Guate who would serve other missionaries. I had never heard of such a thing! But WHAT a blessing and what a ministry to be part of. He is incredibly gifted, and just pours into the missionaries in Chichi every week. They are currently studying the life of Moses, and Pastor Don focused mostly on the time when the Israelites were journeying toward the Promised Land. Though it was the Promised Land they were heading toward, the journey was hard and God was basically leading them into a "hostile environment" and a desert of places. It then hit me that that was exactly where I am being lead, and just like the Israelites, I am grumbling and messing up a lot during the way! Thankfully He never forsakes them, and actually blesses them immensely when they don't deserve any of it. The main focus of the sermon was that God is interested in your transformation, not your transportation. We as humans like transportation more - fast transportation. So true, and it really resonated in my heart for the first time.

I won't go on and on about the sermon, though I could, but I will say that it was impactful and emotional for me. We talked a lot with the Gardeners afterwards about what was said, and they were emotional as well, sharing their struggles of mind and heart that have occured over the past several months. I am not even in the D.R. yet, but have already experienced emotions I've never met before: incredible excitement, discomfort, fear, and contentment with where I am. Mr. Gardner said over lunch yesterday, "It's like an overload of emotions that you can't explain and you really can't even put your finger on." I know I'm going to experience even more of that over the next two years. The only person who can possibly help, lead, and deliver me is Jesus - this is becoming more clear to me all the time.

With all of that seriousness being said, I am beyond excited to begin my work with Kids Alive. I am really enjoying learning Spanish, and witnessing the desperation of the children in these poor countries has given me even more of a desire to serve them. It is incredible what you see in these countries that doesn't exist at all in the reality of your world back home - I'm thankful Jesus is letting me serve them.

I am going to do my best to enjoy my last week in Antigua. I have been feeling bittersweet about leaving for the past two weeks now - I have enjoyed my time here SO much, but know it's time to move on. Praise God for the way everything has gone. Thank you so much for praying - my newest prayer request would be for energy and to feel refreshed each day. I don't know when I've been this tired! Hopefully God will give me rest in these next days before I head home and head out to Colorado for Missionary Training International. :)

Until next time ... Psalm 123:1,2

Mashimon

One of the most interesting conversations I've had since being here was with my teacher Merle. Over breakfast the other day, I told my Guatemalan parents which pueblo (town) she lived in and they told me to ask her about "Mashimon". They both had a smurk on their face so I was anxious to ask her what they were talking about.

Apparently some of the people in her town, along with many others in Guatemala, believe and worship a spirit called Mashimon. From what I gather, this is not a pleasant spirit, and most people pray to him for bad things to happen against their enemies. Or, they pray for lots of money, and according to Merle, many receive once they ask. Merle is a Christian and doesn't worship Mashimon; however, she doesn't speak badly about him out loud because she has known people who have and their house has burned down. Some believe that he is the devil, but Merle believes he's only working for him and if you don't have Jesus in your heart and it is empty, it can be overtaken by the spirit.

There is a church for Mashimon in her town. She's been twice with people who were curious, and said she felt bizarro. Her heart was beating fast and it was a really bad presence. It also smelled terrible. On days where they have festivals for Mashimon in her town, there are really drunk men and prostitutes all around. Mashimon figures are sold and he looks like an indian with a sombrero and cigar hanging out of his mouth. It is believed that Mashimon's dress changes every day, and so the "Mashimon fraternity" will dress in the clothes that they believe he is wearing.

Another interesting fact is that the biggest celebration for Mashimon is on October 28th, which is Judas Iscariot's birthday. So, it is thought by some that he is Mashimon, though there is no specific person identified. The date of the celebration might be a coincidence, but it might not. I just can't believe that Merle experiences this all the time and this kind of worship goes on right in front of her. She said she prays that God won't destroy her town because of what they're doing - I respect that kind of fear and I hope that won't happen as well because obviously there are children of God where she lives.

I was told that the spiritual battlefield is different and more intense in poorer and third world countries - places where evil doesn't hide in material things, but is more out in the open. I am just fascinated to hear about it from people who have really experienced it. Darby has spent time in the mountains of Chichicastenango, which is a few hours from Antigua. She visited a "church" and felt the exact same feelings that Merle did when she went in to the "church" where Mashimon is worshiped. They both described the same symptoms.

There is good and evil in this world and it's becoming more prevalent to me as I spend time here in Guatemala. I wanted to share about Mashimon because I think it's fascinating and got me thinking about how we are always worshiping something, whether we realize it or not. Also, that there is a power, certainly not the most powerful, but a power that is evil and has consumed people around the world. Sometimes it's more prevalent in a physical sense, and other times it's hidden, but I look forward to the day when an end will be put against it.

New Places - New People

During this experience, I have been reminded of how many new people, places and experiences come up on an almost a daily basis when you go abroad. I studied abroad in college, so had a taste of this, but not quite at this level. One thing I did not expect at all was to travel during my time here in Guatemala. I know that sounds strange, but if you know me well, it probably does not surprise you that I didn't research one thing about the country or make a plan in regards to my time here before I came. It has made it a lot more fun though because God has had a lot of surprises in store for me.

Darby and I have traveled the past two weekends - last weekend to Semuc Champey and this weekend to Copan in Honduras. I absolutely loved checking out the Mayan ruins there and learning a lot about how they lived and what they believed. Although interesting, hearing about their beliefs definitely made me have an even a stronger stance and belief in Christ. Also, I saw one of the most beautiful, natural places I've ever seen. I'll say it again - no human could come close to creating what God did at the beginning of time. He must love the color green because that was all I could see from the back of a pick up truck in Copan this past weekend; every single shade of green, and almost any type of plant or tree imaginable - so beautiful.

During our travels, Darby and I have met a lot of people - some who know Christ and many who do not. The ones who don't seem to be the ones God has put most prominent in our life here. I wouldn't say that is the norm for a lot of the students or missionaries studying at our school from what I can tell. It has been interesting talking to several people who seem to have a view that Christians and specifically missionaries are not interested in hanging out with anyone who does not believe what they believe. I know this is certainly not true for everyone, but a couple "apathetic" or unsure people have told me that Darby and I are some of the only Christians they've met interested in spending time with them. One non-Christian girl at my school actually told me she didn't think those who neglected people who do not share their beliefs were doing a very good job at "spreading their religion". I would have to agree with her. It really has given me a lot to think about in regards to how I represent Christ when I say I'm going to be a missionary.

I get a much more honest and real reaction when I tell people what I'm doing here than back home. People are very open about what they do and don't believe and it has been refreshing actually, and incredibly interesting and fun to get to know these people. The only thing is that most people we meet are only here for a short time, so you generally say hello and goodbye within a few weeks.

Spanish is going really well. I am practicing patience, and realizing that the best way to learn is to try to speak it and constantly mess up... which I do almost every time. Once you mess up words like "hombre" (man) and "hambre" (hungry), you won't make that mistake again. It ends up being a great way to improve! It's strange because it's only been a few weeks, but I am really getting used to Antigua and life here. I know that as soon as I feel really settled I'll have to leave. Asi es la vida (such is life :) ).

Thank you so much to those who have prayed. I am so thankful for God's protection and guidance that I have received every day. He is teaching me a lot right now. With everything going on, I'm having to learn how to balance school/new friends/new places and keep my relationship with Him #1. I have not been doing a great job lately to be honest. But I know through Lamentations 3:22,23... Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.

Looking forward to my last few weeks here in this beautiful, friendly country. :)

Semuc Champey

So, I visited quite possibly the most beautiful place I've ever seen this past weekend: Semuc Champey. It is basically the jungle here in Guatemala - totally natural and "rustic", as many locals call it. At any point, you can look around and see every shade of green and every shape that exists in this world. Praise God that there are still places like this where nature reigns, and man-made buildings do not exist. I love not being able to see the end of something - when places look almost eternal. Semuc Champey is like that.



While riding with my 9 companions, all from different parts of the world, and staring out at the majestic countryside, I kept thinking about God and how I can't think of any other explanation for what I saw. There is no way the beauty we experienced was not created, and created by a magnificent, intentional Being.



Our weekend was filled with driving and seeing the country, which I love, and lots of adventure. We explored a cave on Saturday that was filled with water, and bats as I was told. The only light we had was candles and we climbed up and down steep ladders to get around. It was definitely the coolest thing I've ever done. We also hiked around Semuc Champey, got an aerial view of the natural pools, and then hiked down to swim in them. The water was crystal and felt so clean. I feel like I'm being introduced to this side of me that loves nature and exploring different habitats... who woulda thunk it!?



I'm still really enjoying my time in Antigua. I do experience different emotions all the time though, and I still feel as though I am in the midst of a huge transition. Praise the Lord for this transition though and this taste of change before my "real" change takes place. I can feel Him preparing me all the time, even if I'm not sure what for. In the following weeks, I'm hoping for an opportunity to visit the Kids Alive site here. Darby also has friends in a place called Chi Chi, where it is really impoverished, but holds one of the most famous markets in the world. I would love to be able to go to these places and serve. There are opportunities everywhere for volunteers, and it seems like almost everyone I meet is interested in "world change". Maybe people down here just have more time for it, or maybe I just wasn't putting myself in enough situations back home where there are real needs. I know they exist everywhere and I think in some places they are just more visual and common in your day to day life.


Praying as I begin "Grado B" in school, I really start to connect with the language, and am able to carry on conversations past "Hi, how are you?" :) Patience, patience, patience - not the easiest thing in the world, but necessary when learning anything new. I have about 40 new verbs to learn for homework, and I think there are about 501 in the language. Totally on my way...


Until next time .... Phil 1:27.

Segunda Semana

Readers,

I apologize for the possible disorganization of the following post. I haven't blogged in almost a week here in Antigua and a lot has happened. I will often think, 'I need to blog about that!'. Alas, my time online is not as frequent as it is in the States, and I am also trying my darndest to be a better student now than I was in college. Our (meaning me and Darby) new friend Emilio says we are taking it too seriously, but his first language is Spanish, so I am going to continue to be a nerd and work hard at my Spanish studies :)

Praise God that I still really like my family and teacher. I honestly have looked forward to school every day just to spend time with Merle. She has such a light and fun spirit. I am going to continue to study hard though. My first test was today. I did fairly well, but for some reason was not entirely pleased with myself and felt pretty frustrated after. I am praying that I continue to stay positive about it though and just do the best I can in the upcoming weeks.

One of the most interesting parts of chatting with mi maestra is hearing about all that goes on in Guatemala. Currently they are preparing for a presidential election to take place on Sept. 11th (one day after I leave!). The current president's wife actually divorced him in the past year so that she would be able to run. Only a few days ago did Congress eliminate her from the running due to false motives; it has been quite the scandal. Also, Merle is from a small town outside of Antigua and tells me a lot about her family life. They pretty much all live in the same house, and she talks about some of her relatives who leave their children to go to the States - illegally and legally - and they will be gone for 5 years or longer, marrying new women/men and only occasionally sending their kids a toy or some money. She says it's a really sad situation to watch, and I'm just amazed as I listen to what goes on right inside of her house. Being here makes me stop and praise God more often for certain things, and also pray that I am changed to be different at the same time. I guess there is good and bad to each country and culture.

Darby and I have had a really great week though, and continue to grow closer. We have both agreed that school has taken over so much of our time that we can feel ourselves losing some of that crucial, lengthy alone time with God. Please pray that we can find the balance between learning this new language, adjusting to the changes, and keeping our time with the unchangeable God our #1 priority. We did find a great church on Sunday though. The Lord really guided our steps that morning and just when we (with our friend Lindsey) thought we weren't going to find it, it appeared! And the people standing out front seemed to know we were looking for it when they invited us in - it's a bilingual, missionary church right near our school. So perfect and the worship music was wonderful. Also a plus that while trying to find it, or any evangelical church, we stumbled into the most beautiful hotel I've ever seen. It was absolutely gorgeous. Picture below where they hold mass.

We are headed to Semuc Champey this weekend for our first venture out of Antigua. It is supposed to be gorgeous and I can't wait to share pictures. Please pray for our safety though. There are a lot of adventures involved tomorrow and I just hope we will stay safe! Definitely working on my "adventurous side" when it comes to the outdoors. Also, pray for good energy. I have started to feel a bit weary the past few days with everything that's happened.

Thank you so much for your support and I will be posting again soon. Feliz fin de semana!