Soul Seasons

Have you ever moved into a new season without realizing it? I think that's pretty normal. Or at least I hope it is because it's happened to me more than once!

It's easy to detect that new seasons are beginning when physical changes are happening. We move, we get married, we get new jobs, we have children, and each big change is a new season. This is true, but what about the intangible seasons? What about the soul seasons? Are they always in line with the physical ones?

I've gone through a lot of changes in the past five years. I've held three different jobs, lived in two foreign countries, learned a whole new language, welcomed three new nephews and a niece into my life, and made countless new friends from all over. The new places and jobs definitely feel like new seasons. It's easy to say "goodbye" to the old place or job and "hello" to the new one. It's natural to physically move on and declare you're starting anew. But what's happening in the heart and soul?  Do they naturally move on in the same way? Is it suddenly "goodbye" and "hello" where the matters of the heart are concerned?

Recently I've discerned that I need to say "goodbye" to a certain season so I can really move forward in a new one. The soul searching began when the church I've been part of for the past five years moved to a new building downtown. It has been the most joyful time I've seen the church experience, and it's a dream that many have held for a decade or longer. The first services were exciting and the freshly painted walls were filled with chatter of awe and laughter.

I'll never forget the first Sunday in the new church. I sat in a pew by myself crying the whole service. I had a similar experience on Dedication Sunday two months later, only it was even more depressing. I've never felt that alone in such a crowded place before. For everyone else it was like a long-awaited wedding, and for me it was like a funeral.

Since my reaction was so strange and unnerving, I began to ask God what was going on. I spent time praying and reflecting and talking to dear ones. It became clear that I had entered a grieving process. I didn't even know I needed to grieve, but I did. I actually had no idea that I was still trying to live in an old season that had ended.

This identified season was the time during my first few years as a Christian. Everything about the faith was exciting. I was starving to know more about the Lord, and my church felt like home, and the people felt like family. I loved Jesus with such passion and excitement, and felt a similar (but lesser) adoration of my church.

This was my state when I left to live and serve in the Dominican Republic for three years. And after years of growing and changing and loving a new church there, coming back here to the prior church was very different, even difficult. I actually didn't know how different until a year later when the move happened and my world changed. The physical newness caused my spirit to realize that the joyful time of first meeting Christ and growing so rapidly in Him and loving wholeheartedly my first church home was over. Not that my relationship or love for Him is less or could ever end, but that particular season in that particular place had ended. Now I'm in a place of grieving the loss, seeing the gain, and discerning what it means for my future.

Let's think about where we are. God knows. Do we know? Do we know where we've come from? Have we let go of and grieved certain seasons that may have seemed to be "the best" and now not having them seems like "the worst"? It's important to think about. We are complex creatures and a lot is going on inside. If we don't pay attention to it, it can become that very cluttered closet that gets lightly organized once a year, but never really cleaned out. And things are happening and changing, but the closet remains untouched and messy. Let's go into that place. Sort through some things. Look through old coats and sweaters and pictures and vases and knickknacks. See what we need to throw out, what we are holding onto that we shouldn't, and what we really need to let go of. Maybe it's something that we definitely should keep, but it probably needs dusting or a good dry cleaning before being pulled out again.

Knowing what season we're in is truly important, not just in a general sense - married with kids, single, student, etc.- but in a specific sense to who we are and what our experience has been. I think time can move on and we think we are in the same space, but we're really not and shouldn't be. Not only do places and people and jobs change, but we do as well. Our hearts do. And if we're not in tune with the soul seasons, there is no way to grieve the physical changes well. I believe that often times soul seasons are changing before a physical one ever does, but we allow the physical one to proceed it and then play catch up. I'm now praying for a heightened awareness of future soul seasons and healing from past ones. This way I can be sure to take full advantage of exactly where I am, knowing where I've come from and being excited about where I'm going.

Desires: Good, bad, ugly?

I've been thinking recently about desires. There seems to be different thoughts around this topic, especially in the Church. I've gotten the impression from many Christians and church doctrines that if something is God's will, it's going to be hard or ugly or undesirable. I don't think this is true. Can He surprise us with what He puts in our path? Sure. Can the path He calls us to be challenging to be point of suffering? Yes. But I no longer think there is a disconnect between what we want and what God wants. I think that we are created with good desires. However, how we behave in order to make those desires a reality can be ugly. How we become discontent in waiting on God to act and fulfill our desires can lead us to undesirable things. But I don't believe that God's will for us and our deepest desires and dreams are disconnected. I think He knows us better than we know ourselves, and when we follow Him, He really gives us what we want. So at times what He calls us to may not make total since at first. But I believe it is always what we want and need at our core.

I'm speaking from experience, but I think many of us think certain desires must be wrong. A few examples would be sexual desires, desires to be known, desires to be loved, desires to have abundance (of whatever), and desires to have fun. What if none of these are wrong or bad? What if these are good desires God gives us because He actually fulfills them? What if He created us this way? I think there is little wrong with wanting to be known or loved, but I think it is wrong to depend on people to fulfill that because inevitably they fail or disappoint us. However, we are known and deeply loved - so our desires are not bad, but in this "off kilter" world, they become skewed and impure.

Take a look at desires you have. Before you beat yourself up for it and try to suppress them, ask yourself why you desire that and how it's being fulfilled. Ask God to show you as well. Maybe you desire an abundance of money. Is that bad? Is God not a God of abundance, and you His child of abundance? But, why do you want an abundance of money? Where is your heart in it? And what would you do with it if you had the amount you wish for? See, it's not about the desire in and of itself, but the heart behind it. Maybe you desire abundance because you were created for it, but you were never created to be greedy, jealous, or prideful. So the problem does not lie in the original desire, but in the pursuit of the desire or meaning of it, which can be ugly at times.

I want to give you an illustration. Someone desires to kill another person. They're part of a gang that exalts killing people and treats it as something necessary for belonging to their group. This person's desire is to kill, but what was their original desire? Was it to kill someone or was it to be loved and accepted, something they probably never received as a child? Their desire to be part of something that made them feel like they belonged turned very ugly when they couldn't find it, when people around them constantly rejected them through abuse or neglect. Being part of a hateful group was probably not something they imagined for themselves as a child, but as they grew older with the desire to still feel like they belonged (which is how they're made) they turned to the only group of people who offered them "hope and a future", even if it was fake.

I think this intense illustration is important because this truth applies at all levels. And the root desire, the one God gave us, can be skewed and the enemy can put temptations in our path to deceive us and lead us down a path of destruction. The original desire was not bad, but the outcome can be when we follow anyone but God in pursuing it. Anyways, friend, don't suppress your desires or try to get rid of them. Just ask God to purify them and make them whole like they once were. Without those desires you will not be you, and you will not be able to experience God fully.

More than Conquerors

I receive an email devotion from a Canadian pastor I once met. I met him in my church in Jarabacoa of all places and have been receiving his devotions ever since. They are always edifying, but one line in one of his recent emails cut straight to my core."What would you do if you knew it was impossible to fail?" I was challenged and wanted to answer it. Here are the first things I instinctively jotted down:

• I'd speak up more.
• I'd love better.
• I'd follow my heart.
• I'd take more chances.
• I'd see myself differently.
• I'd be myself.
• I'd do everything that scares me.
• I'd really be living.

I surprised myself a bit because I expected to write down some specific desires of mine that make me apprehensive because of the thought of failing. Instead it ended up being a much larger and broader list - really getting at the core of how I'd live, not what I would specifically do.

The more I think about it, the more I see the fear of failing as toxic. As we walk into our God-given destiny of becoming more like Him and of living out the calling He has on our lives (which is more about how we live than what we do), we cannot be afraid and we cannot see ourselves as failures. We are simply not. Since the Bible is clear that we are more than conquerors through Christ, it is in fact impossible for us to be failures.

So, what would it mean if we understood this truth? How would we live if we understood each opportunity, whether big or small, as just that - an opportunity for growth and learning? Not something that we have to do perfectly, or get a lot of recognition for lest we've failed. Understand me here. I'm talking about taking chances that God puts in front of us, not disobediently taking chances that are against the Word and very Spirit of God. But the Lord, our perfect Daddy, wants us to open up and live freely. He puts great things in our midst and in our paths, but I see many of us, myself included, who shy back and say, "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I don't succeed?" Well, we did succeed. The second Christ was resurrected from the grave, we won. We succeeded. 

I'm challenging us to stop thinking of ourselves as failures. Who even sets the bar for what a failure is except God Himself? Who is the Judge, and what does He say about those who've been washed in Jesus's blood? I want us to think about things we don't do or the way that we don't live because of fear of failure. And who are we afraid of failing? Is it fear we'll fail others? Is it fear we'll fail God? Is it fear we'll fail ourselves? Is it fear that our worthiness will be taken away if we don't do well enough or if things fall apart? Friends, our worthiness can't change. It's impossible. Just like it's impossible for God to change. 

So, live today as though you cannot fail. Remember, it's impossible. God is the one who decides if you are a failure - and He already said that you are more than a conqueror. 

Peace.

El poder de nuestro testimonio

Como creyentes de Cristo, como los que confían en un Dios abundantemente bueno, nuestro testimonio es increíblemente importante.

En la Biblia El Mensaje, 1 Pedro 2: 11-17 se parafrasea así:

Amigos, este mundo no es su casa, así que no hacen ustedes acogedor en el mismo. No satisfacer su ego a costa de tu alma. Vive una vida ejemplar entre los nativos para que sus acciones se refutar sus prejuicios. Entonces van a ser ganados al lado de Dios y estar allí para unirse a la celebración cuando llegue.

Hacer que el Maestro orgullosa de ti por ser buenos ciudadanos. Respetar las autoridades, cualquiera que sea su nivel; son emisarios de Dios para mantener el orden. Es la voluntad de Dios: que haciendo bien, es posible curar la ignorancia de los tontos que piensan que eres un peligro para la sociedad. Ejercite su libertad por servir a Dios, no por romper las reglas. Tratar a todos los que conoces con dignidad. Ama a tu familia espiritual. Revere Dios. Respetar el gobierno.

¿Sabemos lo importante que nuestro testimonio es? ¿Sabemos que a pesar de que todavía estamos siendo perfeccionados por Cristo y somos todavía "en construcción", estamos llamados a ser santos y justos en la tierra aquí y ahora?

Me pregunto a veces si la Iglesia es una barrera real para los hijos de Dios que vienen a Él. En realidad, yo no pregunto, lo sé. Y sí, la decisión final para una persona para seguir a Cristo es su propio, pero si la Iglesia realmente se comportó como Dios quiso, sería que su plan de redención suceder más rápida? ¿Habría menos escépticos y más creyentes?

Creo que los cristianos son vistos como hipócritas mucho porque lo son. Nosotros somos. Se llega a ser un poco complicado, porque los cristianos son personas imperfectas que viven por la fe y la gracia, y no creyentes no llegan a comprender eso en medio de sus "críticas" (por falta de una palabra más dura). Lo entiendo y estoy de acuerdo con eso. Sin embargo, les damos razones para dudar de la misma cosa que proclamamos? Decimos: "Confía en Dios, Él es bueno" y luego vivir nuestra vida de una manera totalmente incrédula. O señalamos nuestro dedo en el pecado de una persona que no conoce a Dios y dejar de recordar parte de nuestra vida que nos queda sin resolver - partes de nuestra vida que Dios quiere redimir.

Es muy lamentable cuando las personas tienen una visión distorsionada de Dios, porque las personas que dicen que lo conocen y siguen se comporta de una manera impía. Y por supuesto, siempre habrá críticas. Y el punto no es para apaciguar a los no creyentes o críticos en absoluto. El problema existe cuando proclamamos a Dios de una manera, pero actuamos como sus hijos de una manera completamente diferente. Existe cuando vivimos nuestras vidas en un frustrado, de manera egoísta, sin amor. Esto no es un retrato exacto de la hermosa Iglesia de Dios. Esto no es un retrato exacto de Su hermosa novia que Él ha hecho santo por Su preciosa sangre.

Por lo tanto, vamos a preguntarnos. ¿Qué nos ha reprendido nuestro dulce Papá ultimamente? ¿Hay partes de nuestro modo de vida que se interponen en contraste con la Palabra de Dios?

Si la hay, éstos deben ser abordados. Ellos realmente hacen. Dios quiere redimir a todo en este mundo que no es como debería ser, y que incluye "las pequeñas cosas", como la frustración, la falta de confianza, la ira injusta, la indulgencia en la comida o la bebida, las voces críticas sobre los demás (incluyendo figuras públicas), y impura relaciones con los demás. Cuando se abordan estos defectos, cuando permitimos que Dios opere en y eliminarlos y hacer nosotros todo de nuevo, vamos a dar al mundo una mejor idea de quién es Dios y que su Iglesia es. Entonces ya no seremos tropiezos u obstáculos a los que se salvan. En vez vamos a ser instrumentos eficaces y eficientes en el gran plan de redención de Dios.

Amén.

The Power of our Testimony

As believers of Christ, as those who trust in an abundantly kind God, our testimony is incredibly important.

In The Message, 1 Peter 2:11-17 is paraphrased like this:

Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when He arrives.

Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God's emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.

Do we know how important our testimony is? Do we know that though we are still being perfected by Christ and are still "under construction", we are called to be holy and righteous on earth here and now?

I wonder at times if the Church is an actual barrier to God's children coming to Him. I actually don't just wonder, I know. And yes, the ultimate decision for a person to follow Christ and be reconciled to God is their own, but if the Church really behaved like God wanted it to, would His redemption plan be speedier? Would there be less doubters and more believers?

I think Christians are seen as hypocrites a lot because they are. We are. It does become a bit complicated because Christians are imperfect people who live by faith and grace, and unbelievers don't quite grasp that in the middle of their Christian "critiques" (for lack of a harsher word). I get that and I agree with that. However, do we give them reason to doubt the very thing that we proclaim? We say, "Trust God, He's good" and then live our life in a totally unbelieving way. Or we point our finger at the sin of a person who does not know God and fail to remember part of our life that we have left unaddressed - parts of our lives that God wants to redeem and make whole.

It's very unfortunate when people have a distorted view of God because the people who say they know Him and follow Him behave in an unholy manner. And of course, there will always be criticism. And the point is not to appease the unbelievers or critics at all. The problem exists when we proclaim God one way, but act as His children in a completely different way. It exists when we live our lives in a selfish, frustrated, unloving manner. This is not an accurate portrait of God's beautiful Church. This is not an accurate portrait of His beautiful bride who He has made holy by His precious blood.

So, let's ask ourselves. What has our relentlessly kind Daddy been rebuking us about? What has Holy Spirit been nudging us about or flat out telling us to change in our lives? Are there parts of the way we live that stand in contrast to the Word of God?

If there is, these need to be addressed. They really do. God wants to redeem everything in this world that's not as it should be, and that includes "small things" like frustration, lack of trust, unrighteous anger, indulgence in food or drink, critical voices about others (including public figures), and impure relationships with others. When these defects are addressed, when we allow God to operate on and remove them and make us whole again, we'll give the world a better picture of who God is and who His Church is. Then we will no longer be stumbling blocks or barriers to those who are being saved. We will rather be effective and efficient tools in God's great redemption plan.

Amen.

It's all about the heart

I don't know about you, but I think the most fun thing about being in a relationship with God is hearing, experiencing, and being led by Him. We hear a lot of stuff from a lot of different sources. It's overwhelming at times: the constant bombarding of various voices, opinions, teachings, and perspectives. Sometimes I hear something come out of my mouth and I'm surprised when I realize I don't even think I believe it, but have heard it so much that it's become truth to me. What I say may even be the truth, but if I haven't learned it on my own or heard it myself from God, I feel like it's something I've borrowed - that it's not really my own.

The really cool thing is when you receive revelations and truths directly from God. Then it becomes part of your testimony - your story. Well, after years of saying that God cares more about our hearts than our actions, about who we are than what we do, I can finally say that I really believe it, and that God has really told me so.

I've honestly been going through a weird time recently - it would be appropriate to call it a slight depression. I've questioned my faith, felt weak, tired, and burned out, which has caused me to want to sink back and withdraw, especially in regards to the Christian religion. I'm thankful for a gracious God who saw that, who sees me, and who has always known that this time would come. The moment I began thinking about my discontentment with life and all I was doing, God immediately confronted my heart. It was quickly brought to my attention that my heart was not in the right place. I was sick of all I was doing because my heart was sick. And what really struck me was that the Lord did not convict me for not wanting to serve in church or do certain activities I used to do - He actually told me that it was OK to stop some of it if I needed to. What he did want for me was a healed heart. He didn't care that I wasn't "performing" like I used to. And I have really begun to learn for myself that the Lord actually wants me to be healthy, and my heart in particular. He of course wants me to serve. I was made to have a servant heart. But my heart condition matters when it comes to serving and doing.  It affects my attitude and the manner in which I serve.

God is a good Father. I'm learning that. Let me use an analogy; I love analogies. So think of the most perfect dad. Then think about a child who all of the sudden becomes sad and is not acting like themselves. They might have 10 things left on their chore list and a soccer practice to go to and homework to finish. Would this perfect dad be harsh with them for not completing their tasks? Would he yell at them and tell them to get over it and keep moving? Or would he sit down beside them and rub their back and ask them why they're feeling that way? Would he care enough to get to the root of their problem, encourage them, and set them in the right direction? I personally think the latter would be true. And I also think that all of those chores and practice and homework would be important to the perfect dad. He would want his child to finish what they started, but he would first address them and their heart, dealing with the root cause of why they are feeling that way. It is far more important than certain tasks not getting done. I bring this up because if God is the Father, and He is perfect, then He is the perfect Father. This is what He must be like.

The truth I've come to know is that the condition of our heart matters. We lose sight of that a lot. We tend to try and measure how we are doing by what we are doing or how much we have (or don't have). We as Christians have a bad habit of making our own standards of "good living" and what "faithful" or "loving God" really looks like. The most dangerous part of that is that these standards are not God's; they are our own. Jesus warned against this in regards to the Pharisees and other religious leaders. Their heart conditions were very ill, but they appeared to be the most righteous people around. However, the Lord called them out continuously for not really understanding or getting it, and for actually preventing others to come to the knowledge of God.

I am realizing that God's will for our lives has less and less to do with what we're doing, but with the condition of our hearts. God's will for our lives is to know His Son and to be conformed to the likeness of His image. No matter what our titles are: a millionaire, an artist, a homeless person, a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home dad, unemployed, a missionary, a pastor, or a teller at the bank. That fact does not matter. It really doesn't hold a lot of weight with God. He cares about us, our well-being, our sanctification, and our hearts.

So, let's pray the prayer that David prayed- "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way" (Psalm 139:23-24). David got it. He did a lot of "bad things" in his life. He was far from perfect, but he longed to be perfected by God. He invited Him to really search and restore him, and we should do the same. And we can be sure that since God is so concerned with the matters of the heart, this prayer will always be answered.

Rest

What would it look like if we lived lives of rest?

I've been a Christian for six years now. And only in the past couple of years have I heard about the importance of rest and what it means for us as Christians. I've now come to the belief that not only is it essential to practice rest on a regular basis, but rest itself is actually what sets us apart from others.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'" Mark 6:31

Jesus was clearly a fan of rest. Not only did God show us the importance of rest in the first days of creation, but the theme is weaved throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, God actually commands that His people rest - that they and their families and their servants do nothing for a whole day during the week (Exodus 20:10). So, why did God make this a standard for His people to live by and why did Jesus tell His disciples to get some rest when the world around them seemed so hectic?

I think it's because God loves us. Not even Superman could keep up with the fast-paced lives we try to lead and still come out on top. The American culture is all about being busy. Most of us seem to know very little about controlling that. Our days become full whether we have the energy for it or not. Thankfully, God knows us. He knows what's good for us, and He has commanded us to rest. Jesus was not concerned about all of the people coming and going and all of the needs that came with them. He told His disciples to follow Him to a quiet place and get some rest. Have you felt God nudge you to do that? Have you responded?

I also wanted to speak to the fact that rest differentiates us from every one else on earth who doesn't know God and has not accepted Jesus as their Savior. If you do not know Jesus, I think that working super hard to reach your goals and planning ongoing meetings and striving to meet the world's standards is probably very important. Without security of who you are, where you're headed, why you're here, and who you belong to, it would be impossible not to strive, whether it be physical, mental or emotional.

This is not who we're called to be. Jesus' finished work on the cross secured a place in His kingdom and new life for anyone who comes to believe in His name. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters whose you are. And I wonder if that Person we belong to would agree with our striving, stress and discontentment in the busy lives we've created for ourselves. It's almost as if we're saying, 'thanks for what You did, but we'll take it from here. I'm just not quite sure your crucifixion and resurrection was enough'.

The good news is that it was enough. And it allows us to be restful people. People who know that no matter what they do, they are accepted and loved by God. It also frees us to work hard at what God calls us to do and strive to know Him more. We don't have to look around at every shiny thing or run after every enticing wind, we just have to know we are His, rest in His gift of salvation, and receive the promise of new life now and always.

I'm speaking straight to myself as I write this. I have suffered far too long as a "people pleaser" and that is usually my reason for a full schedule. I have a hard time saying "no". I am thankful though that God has taught me that this is not who I am. If I was a "people pleaser", I am no longer. I was reborn when I met Christ, and am now a God pleaser. And I know that rest pleases God. Not just physical rest from hard labor, but rest in who I am and in who He is.

So, let's challenge ourselves to say "no" to a packed schedule. Let's challenge ourselves to re-prioritize our lives so we can be still and quiet. When people are coming and going and there's hardly time to eat, we should remember the words of King Jesus, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest". And when we feel enticed to say "no" to Him because we don't know where that will leave us or what people will think, we should remember the freedom we've been given - not just freedom to rest, but freedom to be a people of rest.