Mercy and Grace

I'm learning to love God's mercy and grace. It's strange to say that because I think I've felt deep gratitude for His mercy and grace in the past, but to delight in them and love them is a different sentiment and experience altogether.

God has continuously taught me about rest and receiving over the past year, and one of the gifts I must discipline myself to receive is His mercy and grace. And that's a pretty big deal because if I'm not receiving it - not accepting it - then I'm rejecting the greatest gift that God's ever given me.

I'm not a parent yet, but I (usually) enjoy watching other people parent. It's very interesting. They are not half aware as I am of their words and actions because they are totally caught up in the moment. The parents I most closely observe are my brother and sister. I've noticed that my sister has a hard time taking things away from her children that will disappoint them, even if they deserve it. For example, one of her sons was completely disrespectful one day and was told numerous times to change his attitude or he would miss out on going to the State Fair, an event he had been expectantly awaiting for weeks. Alas, the child did not change his attitude and lost the privilege of going to the Fair with his family, which was completely fair in itself (no pun intended). Well, my sister had an incredibly hard time leaving him behind; she just couldn't stand the thought of him at home while the rest of the family enjoyed the fried food, rides and petting zoo. She knew how much it meant to him, so she ultimately let him go. He did not deserve it - he deserved to stay at home - but he received grace and mercy from my sister that day.

What if he hadn't accepted it? What if he had denied my sister's graciousness and stayed at home alone sulking in his pity?

The truth is that God is constantly pouring out abundant, unimaginable grace and mercy upon us that we do not deserve. However, many of us do not live in the light of this truth, and our hearts reject these precious gifts. At times it looks like withholding forgiveness from ourselves or others, living in fear or shame, allowing sin patterns to dominate our lives, or trying to control everything so nothing gets out of hand. I believe that when we behave in these ways we are "saying no to the fair". And this denial of grace and mercy acceptance is not equivalent to missing out on a 3-hour long family event that cost $10.00 - it's missing out on living a full life that cost God His Only Son.

I've decided to start really accepting that God's perfect will is to lavish me in grace and mercy. And the Word says that His mercies are new every morning - they are never going to run out. I don't have to be scared to live because even if I mess up, He's already paid the perfect price to cover and redeem my mistake. And I don't have to beat up on myself or others for doing things wrong because God is in charge and He is the gracious one, and He tells me to show mercy and it's becoming easier as I fully accept His.

My boss and dear friend was recently talking about grace and how she used to not understand or accept it. She said, "Every time I did something wrong I felt like a coconut was going to fall out of the sky and pop me on the head." I laughed because that image is hilarious, but we have to be honest and admit that we all feel like that sometimes. We feel like at any moment God could be mad at us or give up on us. Well, instead of feeling that way, it's high time we self-evaluate how well we are at receiving His grace and mercy, and then meditate on the fact that these are His greatest gifts to us.

Remember, dear child, God lavishes you with grace and mercy. He delights in doing so. He gave His whole Life - mind, body, and Spirit - to you. And we are set free - no coconuts and a free trip to the fair.

Soul Seasons

Have you ever moved into a new season without realizing it? I think that's pretty normal. Or at least I hope it is because it's happened to me more than once!

It's easy to detect that new seasons are beginning when physical changes are happening. We move, we get married, we get new jobs, we have children, and each big change is a new season. This is true, but what about the intangible seasons? What about the soul seasons? Are they always in line with the physical ones?

I've gone through a lot of changes in the past five years. I've held three different jobs, lived in two foreign countries, learned a whole new language, welcomed three new nephews and a niece into my life, and made countless new friends from all over. The new places and jobs definitely feel like new seasons. It's easy to say "goodbye" to the old place or job and "hello" to the new one. It's natural to physically move on and declare you're starting anew. But what's happening in the heart and soul?  Do they naturally move on in the same way? Is it suddenly "goodbye" and "hello" where the matters of the heart are concerned?

Recently I've discerned that I need to say "goodbye" to a certain season so I can really move forward in a new one. The soul searching began when the church I've been part of for the past five years moved to a new building downtown. It has been the most joyful time I've seen the church experience, and it's a dream that many have held for a decade or longer. The first services were exciting and the freshly painted walls were filled with chatter of awe and laughter.

I'll never forget the first Sunday in the new church. I sat in a pew by myself crying the whole service. I had a similar experience on Dedication Sunday two months later, only it was even more depressing. I've never felt that alone in such a crowded place before. For everyone else it was like a long-awaited wedding, and for me it was like a funeral.

Since my reaction was so strange and unnerving, I began to ask God what was going on. I spent time praying and reflecting and talking to dear ones. It became clear that I had entered a grieving process. I didn't even know I needed to grieve, but I did. I actually had no idea that I was still trying to live in an old season that had ended.

This identified season was the time during my first few years as a Christian. Everything about the faith was exciting. I was starving to know more about the Lord, and my church felt like home, and the people felt like family. I loved Jesus with such passion and excitement, and felt a similar (but lesser) adoration of my church.

This was my state when I left to live and serve in the Dominican Republic for three years. And after years of growing and changing and loving a new church there, coming back here to the prior church was very different, even difficult. I actually didn't know how different until a year later when the move happened and my world changed. The physical newness caused my spirit to realize that the joyful time of first meeting Christ and growing so rapidly in Him and loving wholeheartedly my first church home was over. Not that my relationship or love for Him is less or could ever end, but that particular season in that particular place had ended. Now I'm in a place of grieving the loss, seeing the gain, and discerning what it means for my future.

Let's think about where we are. God knows. Do we know? Do we know where we've come from? Have we let go of and grieved certain seasons that may have seemed to be "the best" and now not having them seems like "the worst"? It's important to think about. We are complex creatures and a lot is going on inside. If we don't pay attention to it, it can become that very cluttered closet that gets lightly organized once a year, but never really cleaned out. And things are happening and changing, but the closet remains untouched and messy. Let's go into that place. Sort through some things. Look through old coats and sweaters and pictures and vases and knickknacks. See what we need to throw out, what we are holding onto that we shouldn't, and what we really need to let go of. Maybe it's something that we definitely should keep, but it probably needs dusting or a good dry cleaning before being pulled out again.

Knowing what season we're in is truly important, not just in a general sense - married with kids, single, student, etc.- but in a specific sense to who we are and what our experience has been. I think time can move on and we think we are in the same space, but we're really not and shouldn't be. Not only do places and people and jobs change, but we do as well. Our hearts do. And if we're not in tune with the soul seasons, there is no way to grieve the physical changes well. I believe that often times soul seasons are changing before a physical one ever does, but we allow the physical one to proceed it and then play catch up. I'm now praying for a heightened awareness of future soul seasons and healing from past ones. This way I can be sure to take full advantage of exactly where I am, knowing where I've come from and being excited about where I'm going.

Desires: Good, bad, ugly?

I've been thinking recently about desires. There seems to be different thoughts around this topic, especially in the Church. I've gotten the impression from many Christians and church doctrines that if something is God's will, it's going to be hard or ugly or undesirable. I don't think this is true. Can He surprise us with what He puts in our path? Sure. Can the path He calls us to be challenging to be point of suffering? Yes. But I no longer think there is a disconnect between what we want and what God wants. I think that we are created with good desires. However, how we behave in order to make those desires a reality can be ugly. How we become discontent in waiting on God to act and fulfill our desires can lead us to undesirable things. But I don't believe that God's will for us and our deepest desires and dreams are disconnected. I think He knows us better than we know ourselves, and when we follow Him, He really gives us what we want. So at times what He calls us to may not make total since at first. But I believe it is always what we want and need at our core.

I'm speaking from experience, but I think many of us think certain desires must be wrong. A few examples would be sexual desires, desires to be known, desires to be loved, desires to have abundance (of whatever), and desires to have fun. What if none of these are wrong or bad? What if these are good desires God gives us because He actually fulfills them? What if He created us this way? I think there is little wrong with wanting to be known or loved, but I think it is wrong to depend on people to fulfill that because inevitably they fail or disappoint us. However, we are known and deeply loved - so our desires are not bad, but in this "off kilter" world, they become skewed and impure.

Take a look at desires you have. Before you beat yourself up for it and try to suppress them, ask yourself why you desire that and how it's being fulfilled. Ask God to show you as well. Maybe you desire an abundance of money. Is that bad? Is God not a God of abundance, and you His child of abundance? But, why do you want an abundance of money? Where is your heart in it? And what would you do with it if you had the amount you wish for? See, it's not about the desire in and of itself, but the heart behind it. Maybe you desire abundance because you were created for it, but you were never created to be greedy, jealous, or prideful. So the problem does not lie in the original desire, but in the pursuit of the desire or meaning of it, which can be ugly at times.

I want to give you an illustration. Someone desires to kill another person. They're part of a gang that exalts killing people and treats it as something necessary for belonging to their group. This person's desire is to kill, but what was their original desire? Was it to kill someone or was it to be loved and accepted, something they probably never received as a child? Their desire to be part of something that made them feel like they belonged turned very ugly when they couldn't find it, when people around them constantly rejected them through abuse or neglect. Being part of a hateful group was probably not something they imagined for themselves as a child, but as they grew older with the desire to still feel like they belonged (which is how they're made) they turned to the only group of people who offered them "hope and a future", even if it was fake.

I think this intense illustration is important because this truth applies at all levels. And the root desire, the one God gave us, can be skewed and the enemy can put temptations in our path to deceive us and lead us down a path of destruction. The original desire was not bad, but the outcome can be when we follow anyone but God in pursuing it. Anyways, friend, don't suppress your desires or try to get rid of them. Just ask God to purify them and make them whole like they once were. Without those desires you will not be you, and you will not be able to experience God fully.

More than Conquerors

I receive an email devotion from a Canadian pastor I once met. I met him in my church in Jarabacoa of all places and have been receiving his devotions ever since. They are always edifying, but one line in one of his recent emails cut straight to my core."What would you do if you knew it was impossible to fail?" I was challenged and wanted to answer it. Here are the first things I instinctively jotted down:

• I'd speak up more.
• I'd love better.
• I'd follow my heart.
• I'd take more chances.
• I'd see myself differently.
• I'd be myself.
• I'd do everything that scares me.
• I'd really be living.

I surprised myself a bit because I expected to write down some specific desires of mine that make me apprehensive because of the thought of failing. Instead it ended up being a much larger and broader list - really getting at the core of how I'd live, not what I would specifically do.

The more I think about it, the more I see the fear of failing as toxic. As we walk into our God-given destiny of becoming more like Him and of living out the calling He has on our lives (which is more about how we live than what we do), we cannot be afraid and we cannot see ourselves as failures. We are simply not. Since the Bible is clear that we are more than conquerors through Christ, it is in fact impossible for us to be failures.

So, what would it mean if we understood this truth? How would we live if we understood each opportunity, whether big or small, as just that - an opportunity for growth and learning? Not something that we have to do perfectly, or get a lot of recognition for lest we've failed. Understand me here. I'm talking about taking chances that God puts in front of us, not disobediently taking chances that are against the Word and very Spirit of God. But the Lord, our perfect Daddy, wants us to open up and live freely. He puts great things in our midst and in our paths, but I see many of us, myself included, who shy back and say, "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I don't succeed?" Well, we did succeed. The second Christ was resurrected from the grave, we won. We succeeded. 

I'm challenging us to stop thinking of ourselves as failures. Who even sets the bar for what a failure is except God Himself? Who is the Judge, and what does He say about those who've been washed in Jesus's blood? I want us to think about things we don't do or the way that we don't live because of fear of failure. And who are we afraid of failing? Is it fear we'll fail others? Is it fear we'll fail God? Is it fear we'll fail ourselves? Is it fear that our worthiness will be taken away if we don't do well enough or if things fall apart? Friends, our worthiness can't change. It's impossible. Just like it's impossible for God to change. 

So, live today as though you cannot fail. Remember, it's impossible. God is the one who decides if you are a failure - and He already said that you are more than a conqueror. 

Peace.

El poder de nuestro testimonio

Como creyentes de Cristo, como los que confían en un Dios abundantemente bueno, nuestro testimonio es increíblemente importante.

En la Biblia El Mensaje, 1 Pedro 2: 11-17 se parafrasea así:

Amigos, este mundo no es su casa, así que no hacen ustedes acogedor en el mismo. No satisfacer su ego a costa de tu alma. Vive una vida ejemplar entre los nativos para que sus acciones se refutar sus prejuicios. Entonces van a ser ganados al lado de Dios y estar allí para unirse a la celebración cuando llegue.

Hacer que el Maestro orgullosa de ti por ser buenos ciudadanos. Respetar las autoridades, cualquiera que sea su nivel; son emisarios de Dios para mantener el orden. Es la voluntad de Dios: que haciendo bien, es posible curar la ignorancia de los tontos que piensan que eres un peligro para la sociedad. Ejercite su libertad por servir a Dios, no por romper las reglas. Tratar a todos los que conoces con dignidad. Ama a tu familia espiritual. Revere Dios. Respetar el gobierno.

¿Sabemos lo importante que nuestro testimonio es? ¿Sabemos que a pesar de que todavía estamos siendo perfeccionados por Cristo y somos todavía "en construcción", estamos llamados a ser santos y justos en la tierra aquí y ahora?

Me pregunto a veces si la Iglesia es una barrera real para los hijos de Dios que vienen a Él. En realidad, yo no pregunto, lo sé. Y sí, la decisión final para una persona para seguir a Cristo es su propio, pero si la Iglesia realmente se comportó como Dios quiso, sería que su plan de redención suceder más rápida? ¿Habría menos escépticos y más creyentes?

Creo que los cristianos son vistos como hipócritas mucho porque lo son. Nosotros somos. Se llega a ser un poco complicado, porque los cristianos son personas imperfectas que viven por la fe y la gracia, y no creyentes no llegan a comprender eso en medio de sus "críticas" (por falta de una palabra más dura). Lo entiendo y estoy de acuerdo con eso. Sin embargo, les damos razones para dudar de la misma cosa que proclamamos? Decimos: "Confía en Dios, Él es bueno" y luego vivir nuestra vida de una manera totalmente incrédula. O señalamos nuestro dedo en el pecado de una persona que no conoce a Dios y dejar de recordar parte de nuestra vida que nos queda sin resolver - partes de nuestra vida que Dios quiere redimir.

Es muy lamentable cuando las personas tienen una visión distorsionada de Dios, porque las personas que dicen que lo conocen y siguen se comporta de una manera impía. Y por supuesto, siempre habrá críticas. Y el punto no es para apaciguar a los no creyentes o críticos en absoluto. El problema existe cuando proclamamos a Dios de una manera, pero actuamos como sus hijos de una manera completamente diferente. Existe cuando vivimos nuestras vidas en un frustrado, de manera egoísta, sin amor. Esto no es un retrato exacto de la hermosa Iglesia de Dios. Esto no es un retrato exacto de Su hermosa novia que Él ha hecho santo por Su preciosa sangre.

Por lo tanto, vamos a preguntarnos. ¿Qué nos ha reprendido nuestro dulce Papá ultimamente? ¿Hay partes de nuestro modo de vida que se interponen en contraste con la Palabra de Dios?

Si la hay, éstos deben ser abordados. Ellos realmente hacen. Dios quiere redimir a todo en este mundo que no es como debería ser, y que incluye "las pequeñas cosas", como la frustración, la falta de confianza, la ira injusta, la indulgencia en la comida o la bebida, las voces críticas sobre los demás (incluyendo figuras públicas), y impura relaciones con los demás. Cuando se abordan estos defectos, cuando permitimos que Dios opere en y eliminarlos y hacer nosotros todo de nuevo, vamos a dar al mundo una mejor idea de quién es Dios y que su Iglesia es. Entonces ya no seremos tropiezos u obstáculos a los que se salvan. En vez vamos a ser instrumentos eficaces y eficientes en el gran plan de redención de Dios.

Amén.

The Power of our Testimony

As believers of Christ, as those who trust in an abundantly kind God, our testimony is incredibly important.

In The Message, 1 Peter 2:11-17 is paraphrased like this:

Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when He arrives.

Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God's emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.

Do we know how important our testimony is? Do we know that though we are still being perfected by Christ and are still "under construction", we are called to be holy and righteous on earth here and now?

I wonder at times if the Church is an actual barrier to God's children coming to Him. I actually don't just wonder, I know. And yes, the ultimate decision for a person to follow Christ and be reconciled to God is their own, but if the Church really behaved like God wanted it to, would His redemption plan be speedier? Would there be less doubters and more believers?

I think Christians are seen as hypocrites a lot because they are. We are. It does become a bit complicated because Christians are imperfect people who live by faith and grace, and unbelievers don't quite grasp that in the middle of their Christian "critiques" (for lack of a harsher word). I get that and I agree with that. However, do we give them reason to doubt the very thing that we proclaim? We say, "Trust God, He's good" and then live our life in a totally unbelieving way. Or we point our finger at the sin of a person who does not know God and fail to remember part of our life that we have left unaddressed - parts of our lives that God wants to redeem and make whole.

It's very unfortunate when people have a distorted view of God because the people who say they know Him and follow Him behave in an unholy manner. And of course, there will always be criticism. And the point is not to appease the unbelievers or critics at all. The problem exists when we proclaim God one way, but act as His children in a completely different way. It exists when we live our lives in a selfish, frustrated, unloving manner. This is not an accurate portrait of God's beautiful Church. This is not an accurate portrait of His beautiful bride who He has made holy by His precious blood.

So, let's ask ourselves. What has our relentlessly kind Daddy been rebuking us about? What has Holy Spirit been nudging us about or flat out telling us to change in our lives? Are there parts of the way we live that stand in contrast to the Word of God?

If there is, these need to be addressed. They really do. God wants to redeem everything in this world that's not as it should be, and that includes "small things" like frustration, lack of trust, unrighteous anger, indulgence in food or drink, critical voices about others (including public figures), and impure relationships with others. When these defects are addressed, when we allow God to operate on and remove them and make us whole again, we'll give the world a better picture of who God is and who His Church is. Then we will no longer be stumbling blocks or barriers to those who are being saved. We will rather be effective and efficient tools in God's great redemption plan.

Amen.

It's all about the heart

I don't know about you, but I think the most fun thing about being in a relationship with God is hearing, experiencing, and being led by Him. We hear a lot of stuff from a lot of different sources. It's overwhelming at times: the constant bombarding of various voices, opinions, teachings, and perspectives. Sometimes I hear something come out of my mouth and I'm surprised when I realize I don't even think I believe it, but have heard it so much that it's become truth to me. What I say may even be the truth, but if I haven't learned it on my own or heard it myself from God, I feel like it's something I've borrowed - that it's not really my own.

The really cool thing is when you receive revelations and truths directly from God. Then it becomes part of your testimony - your story. Well, after years of saying that God cares more about our hearts than our actions, about who we are than what we do, I can finally say that I really believe it, and that God has really told me so.

I've honestly been going through a weird time recently - it would be appropriate to call it a slight depression. I've questioned my faith, felt weak, tired, and burned out, which has caused me to want to sink back and withdraw, especially in regards to the Christian religion. I'm thankful for a gracious God who saw that, who sees me, and who has always known that this time would come. The moment I began thinking about my discontentment with life and all I was doing, God immediately confronted my heart. It was quickly brought to my attention that my heart was not in the right place. I was sick of all I was doing because my heart was sick. And what really struck me was that the Lord did not convict me for not wanting to serve in church or do certain activities I used to do - He actually told me that it was OK to stop some of it if I needed to. What he did want for me was a healed heart. He didn't care that I wasn't "performing" like I used to. And I have really begun to learn for myself that the Lord actually wants me to be healthy, and my heart in particular. He of course wants me to serve. I was made to have a servant heart. But my heart condition matters when it comes to serving and doing.  It affects my attitude and the manner in which I serve.

God is a good Father. I'm learning that. Let me use an analogy; I love analogies. So think of the most perfect dad. Then think about a child who all of the sudden becomes sad and is not acting like themselves. They might have 10 things left on their chore list and a soccer practice to go to and homework to finish. Would this perfect dad be harsh with them for not completing their tasks? Would he yell at them and tell them to get over it and keep moving? Or would he sit down beside them and rub their back and ask them why they're feeling that way? Would he care enough to get to the root of their problem, encourage them, and set them in the right direction? I personally think the latter would be true. And I also think that all of those chores and practice and homework would be important to the perfect dad. He would want his child to finish what they started, but he would first address them and their heart, dealing with the root cause of why they are feeling that way. It is far more important than certain tasks not getting done. I bring this up because if God is the Father, and He is perfect, then He is the perfect Father. This is what He must be like.

The truth I've come to know is that the condition of our heart matters. We lose sight of that a lot. We tend to try and measure how we are doing by what we are doing or how much we have (or don't have). We as Christians have a bad habit of making our own standards of "good living" and what "faithful" or "loving God" really looks like. The most dangerous part of that is that these standards are not God's; they are our own. Jesus warned against this in regards to the Pharisees and other religious leaders. Their heart conditions were very ill, but they appeared to be the most righteous people around. However, the Lord called them out continuously for not really understanding or getting it, and for actually preventing others to come to the knowledge of God.

I am realizing that God's will for our lives has less and less to do with what we're doing, but with the condition of our hearts. God's will for our lives is to know His Son and to be conformed to the likeness of His image. No matter what our titles are: a millionaire, an artist, a homeless person, a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home dad, unemployed, a missionary, a pastor, or a teller at the bank. That fact does not matter. It really doesn't hold a lot of weight with God. He cares about us, our well-being, our sanctification, and our hearts.

So, let's pray the prayer that David prayed- "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way" (Psalm 139:23-24). David got it. He did a lot of "bad things" in his life. He was far from perfect, but he longed to be perfected by God. He invited Him to really search and restore him, and we should do the same. And we can be sure that since God is so concerned with the matters of the heart, this prayer will always be answered.

Rest

What would it look like if we lived lives of rest?

I've been a Christian for six years now. And only in the past couple of years have I heard about the importance of rest and what it means for us as Christians. I've now come to the belief that not only is it essential to practice rest on a regular basis, but rest itself is actually what sets us apart from others.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'" Mark 6:31

Jesus was clearly a fan of rest. Not only did God show us the importance of rest in the first days of creation, but the theme is weaved throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, God actually commands that His people rest - that they and their families and their servants do nothing for a whole day during the week (Exodus 20:10). So, why did God make this a standard for His people to live by and why did Jesus tell His disciples to get some rest when the world around them seemed so hectic?

I think it's because God loves us. Not even Superman could keep up with the fast-paced lives we try to lead and still come out on top. The American culture is all about being busy. Most of us seem to know very little about controlling that. Our days become full whether we have the energy for it or not. Thankfully, God knows us. He knows what's good for us, and He has commanded us to rest. Jesus was not concerned about all of the people coming and going and all of the needs that came with them. He told His disciples to follow Him to a quiet place and get some rest. Have you felt God nudge you to do that? Have you responded?

I also wanted to speak to the fact that rest differentiates us from every one else on earth who doesn't know God and has not accepted Jesus as their Savior. If you do not know Jesus, I think that working super hard to reach your goals and planning ongoing meetings and striving to meet the world's standards is probably very important. Without security of who you are, where you're headed, why you're here, and who you belong to, it would be impossible not to strive, whether it be physical, mental or emotional.

This is not who we're called to be. Jesus' finished work on the cross secured a place in His kingdom and new life for anyone who comes to believe in His name. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters whose you are. And I wonder if that Person we belong to would agree with our striving, stress and discontentment in the busy lives we've created for ourselves. It's almost as if we're saying, 'thanks for what You did, but we'll take it from here. I'm just not quite sure your crucifixion and resurrection was enough'.

The good news is that it was enough. And it allows us to be restful people. People who know that no matter what they do, they are accepted and loved by God. It also frees us to work hard at what God calls us to do and strive to know Him more. We don't have to look around at every shiny thing or run after every enticing wind, we just have to know we are His, rest in His gift of salvation, and receive the promise of new life now and always.

I'm speaking straight to myself as I write this. I have suffered far too long as a "people pleaser" and that is usually my reason for a full schedule. I have a hard time saying "no". I am thankful though that God has taught me that this is not who I am. If I was a "people pleaser", I am no longer. I was reborn when I met Christ, and am now a God pleaser. And I know that rest pleases God. Not just physical rest from hard labor, but rest in who I am and in who He is.

So, let's challenge ourselves to say "no" to a packed schedule. Let's challenge ourselves to re-prioritize our lives so we can be still and quiet. When people are coming and going and there's hardly time to eat, we should remember the words of King Jesus, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest". And when we feel enticed to say "no" to Him because we don't know where that will leave us or what people will think, we should remember the freedom we've been given - not just freedom to rest, but freedom to be a people of rest.

Perfectionism: Our Enemy

Have you ever felt pressured to be perfect, by yourself or someone else? Have you ever beaten yourself up over a mistake, big or small?

Yeah? So have I. More than I'd like to admit.

As I've been in a season of meditation on the essence of rest in a workaholic driven society and the effects of pressure of perfection on imperfect humans, I've come to some very helpful conclusions - conclusions that the Lord has helped me reach. I'm still in the process of applying these new truths to my own life, and probably will be for the rest of my life. One day, I will write about rest. It's one of my new favorite topics. However, at this moment I want to speak about one of our greatest enemies: perfectionism.

I looked up the word "perfect" in the dictionary, mainly because each person reading this will have a different view of what perfect looks like. To one person the perfect house will look completely different than to another. "Perfect" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary means "having no mistakes or flaws; completely correct or accurate; having all the qualities you want in that kind of person, situation, etc."

What I want to touch on and for us to think about is that it's possible that we have created a standard of perfect for ourselves and others. This is a problem because a perfect standard should not exist for people. People make mistakes. People have flaws. People are not always correct. And so what we do is place an unreachable standard on ourselves and others. A standard that causes stress, uptightness (I like to create words, especially that end in "ness"), and discontentment in ourselves and others.

What is the root cause of this man-made standard of perfectionism you ask? I believe strongly that it's pride. There is a strong element of pride because it says that people can and should be perfect - that you yourself and I myself are perfect, but we're just not living up to that. Also, when we place blame on people for not behaving perfectly, it's usually because their behavior or shortcomings were an inconvenience or disruption to our own effort to maintain a perfect life: pride.

The reality is that we were all born into this broken world and thus there are broken parts of us. Each person in the world has their own story, heartache, struggle, fear, and we all bring it to the table when we come together. So, why not embrace that in a sense? Why not laugh at ourselves and try better next time? Why not realize that certain standards we place on ourselves and others are just not real?

God is perfect. He is the only one. There is nothing about Him flawed and He has never made a mistake (not even when he made clumsy us!). His Son Jesus Christ died on the cross for our imperfections, for our flaws, for our shortcomings. He did it because we couldn't do it for ourselves, and He knew that even after we knew Him, we would still make mistakes and would spend the rest of our lives being healed and learning to walk upright in this new life He's called us into.

So, breathe. Relax. Trust God. You don't need to be perfect. He is. If you happen to make a mistake, the world will not end. You just might learn something in fact. I really like what one of my favorite pastors, Havilah Cunnington, said one time. She said, "Give yourself a break. This is your first rodeo." None of us have been here before. We must try our best. We must honor God. We must listen to His Spirit and make our best decisions. However. We must not be so focused on being "perfect" that we are scared, stressed, tired, and discontent. That is not God's plan for us.

As I challenge myself right now, I challenge you as well. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. Jesus already justified you. He already set things straight. He loves you that much, even if you make a mistake or have a flaw, which is guaranteed in this life. So, next time we feel enticed to beat ourselves or someone else up over something they did that just wasn't quite right, remember: perfectionism is not our friend. It is our enemy.

My First Love

I want to tell you about the first time I fell in love. I've decided to be vulnerable, especially because I know that not all readers will be able to relate to or understand this experience. 

When I met the person I love more than anything, I was totally lost. I was dead actually. I remember writing in my journal in times of desperation. I wrote often that there was something missing. I didn't know how else to describe it. And it wasn't a momentary or shallow need. It was something deep - and when I figured out what it was, I'd be complete or happy or better or something. These were relatively small expectations for what really happened when He walked into my life.

I am aware that it bothers people when I say that I fell madly in love with Jesus. I don't think it's understandable or believable or comfortable for many. But all of who I am is wrapped up in who He is. And I can't make it understandable or believable or comfortable, but I believe everybody deserves to be heard and valued and known, and without Jesus, my story is nothing, and really I'm nothing.

So. I love Jesus. I fell in love with Him. When I opened the door to Him through prayer, He stepped into my life. Where I was empty, I became full. Where I had been confused, I received peace. And where nothing made sense, then everything made sense. And I found who my heart really loved and trusted. Immediately. Words will never be able to explain the experience, or what the journey has been like these past six years with Him. He has changed me in every way. He set me on fire and now I know who I am. 

It's funny because it's not unlike other relationships in life. There is no way for it to go deeper or be sustained without work. There are moments of doubt and unbelief and sadness and confusion. Thankfully these are all on my end. One of us is perfect. He's the perfect Father. He looks at me with love all the time. He's never mad at me even if He doesn't agree with a decision or something that I do. I can not imagine not knowing the one who made me and has done everything to ensure we could be together forever. 

Sometimes I need to go back to Jesus. As my walk with Him moves on, my human flesh can feel bored and be enticed and tempted by the fast-paced glitzy life around me. And somehow I get wrapped up in thinking that I'll find my answers and full life there. But then He calls me back. I remember the one who set my soul on fire and whose pure existence is love, peace, joy, goodness, kindness, patience, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. He has the best heart and I believe it beats for me, for His children. 

I love Jesus. He is the center of my story. In Him, I have everything.

Real Growing Pains

Have you ever felt like you were literally losing your mind? Like you had lost control and were drowning in a sea of bitterness, unbelief and defeat?

Emotions are really intense, especially for those of us who feel just about everything, within themselves, others, and in the atmosphere around them. 

I got beat down this week. I didn't talk to God for days. I didn't want to. I was mad at Him and had given up on Him. 

He's my perfect Father though and I just knew that the picture of us standing there was like a small child throwing a fit while her incredibly patient father bent down and gently said, "Baby, you may not like this right now, but it's the best thing for you. I know 'cause I love you, believe in you, and want the best for you."

Looking back, those moments were sweet because they were real. I'm pretty over not being real with God in how I'm feeling or with what's going on. He's seen everything since before time. There is no hiding from Him so I may as well come out naked from behind the bushes.

God cares so much about our growth and development into the people He created us to be that He is never concerned or worried about our momentary trials. I think He cares - I think He can relate - I think He grieves with us, but I think He is so confident about the good that's going to come out of each trial and the beauty He can create out of ashes that He many times does not remove us from a situation or from this world simply because it hurts and we beg Him to. You cannot control Him, and I love that.

My Lord wants me to take hold of all the promises, gifts and life that He's given me in Jesus. He wants me to be the bold, courageous, God pleasing, truth and justice loving, merciful, wonderful child that He created me to be. Though I have received everything at once from Him, I am not yet perfect. I am still being made into the likeness of Christ and am learning to walk in the new life He's given me. As God rids me of past habits and ways of living and thinking, it is painful - so painful I often allow the trial to overtake my mind, pulling my focus off of Jesus and leaving me in a flailing state of confusion and bitterness. 

This time of testing and molding is not finished. Not even close. But I want more. That is the Holy Spirit. Without Him, I would simply desire a painless life of comfort and carelessness. I know because that's what I desired before I knew Him. Now I desire Him and to be more like Him. So, if that means more moments of telling Him that I simply cannot talk to Him and feeling like I'm walking through a desert, bring it on. 

Just promise You'll keep shining Your light to bring me back home.

Love Wins

The phrase 'love wins' is very dear to my heart. It is in fact the foundation of my beliefs and relationship with God. I have seen this phrase countless times on social media over the past day. Since I do love this phrase so much, and I believe so deeply in its truth, I thought it would be a great opportunity to share what 'love wins' really means to me, and what I believe it really means.

John 15:13 says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." 

Jesus, with knowledge of the pain and suffering that He would endure, chose to be born into a broken world and die the most excruciating death imaginable because He wanted to cleanse the entire world of its sin, brokenness, and bondage to darkness.

That is truth and that is love. 

People love people. We fascinate each other, gratify each other, and fulfill each other's longings. Overall, it is not difficult to be physically and/or emotionally intimate and close with people in life because it feels good. It is interesting, because I've found through experience that when we walk in brokenness, the people we choose to be intimate with (friends, lovers, same sex, different sex) are ones who we perceive as being healers or saviors of past heartaches. Not healed, many of the choices are unhealthy and we walk in paths of destruction because in the moment it seems to be the right answer to our problems.

I bring this up because understanding the word 'love' through this framework is often harmful. Yes, I love people. I am one who tends to be easily fascinated by people and craves time with them. I thank God for this gift! I have however come to learn that a fascination or feeling of endearment toward someone cannot be compared with the real love that God has for us and expressed to us on the cross. I have met no one else who would choose to experience the ridicule, backstabbing, pain and suffering that Jesus did for me. I owe Him everything, but He does not demand anything in return.

The truth is - love already won. This is not something new. Love did not win because of a human made decision that gives new legal rights to a group of people. Love won when Jesus spilled His blood out on the cross. He did it for me, you, and every single individual who has ever lived or who will ever live. His desire is that each one of us recognizes that, accepts His unchanging love, and begins to walk with Him. Nothing can compare with being in love with the One who would do and did do everything for you. He is the answer to every question - He is real love.

#lovewins

Sacrificial Love

‘How is faith expressed through love?’ I asked myself this question as I sat at the counter with a cup of coffee and my Bible opened to Galatians in front of me. Galatians 5 was stirring deep, penetrating straight to my soul. The very first words of the chapter are, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Wow. I could have sat with that verse, repeating it in my heart for the rest of my life and would never have tired.  I kept reading and came to verse 6, one that I have read before with much joy and fondness. This time however, it caused me to think, to pull apart and dissect each of its words. For the first time, I saw the verse’s depth and meaning, not simply the melody and beauty of its language. The second half of the verse reads, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” At this point, I could not move on. God has just told me the only thing that counts in life! After pulling it apart a bit and reflecting and meditating on these words, I believe this is what the verse means for us: The only thing that matters is believing and trusting in God, so that we are free to live and express a sacrificial lifestyle.

Let’s backtrack a bit and look at the context. Right before this verse, the Apostle Paul argues that the Galatian people have fallen away from grace, and that they are still trying to follow the law to be saved, especially in regards to circumcision. The first part of verse 6 says, “For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value.” He is clearly making the statement that goes against what many of their actions has been eluding to. Now here comes the clincher, the second part, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Upon reading this, my first thought was, ‘the only thing’? That seems really extreme and a bit exclusive. Now when asked what someone needs to have or do to be saved, I think most Christians would robotically respond with something like this, “Nothing, you just need to believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins.” That might be our verbal response, but what do our actions say? Do we truly live as if the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love?

When coming upon words that we say or hear a lot like “faith” and “love”, I like to write my own definition of them, or put a different word in their place just to make sure that I grasp their meaning. So for “faith”, I replaced it with “belief” or “trust”, and for “love”, I replaced it with “sacrifice”. This is where I begin to see more of what God wanted to communicate to me in this verse. As far as our salvation and where we stand with God, the only thing we need is faith. However, He does not stop there. He goes on to say that it is faith that expresses itself through love, through sacrifice. The Bible says that “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10). The word “sacrifice” may not be as glamorous-sounding as “love”, but they really have the same meaning when referring to God’s love and who He is. And I believe that God wants us to be full of this same type of love for others.

The amazing thing is, when we have faith, real faith in God, this type of love doesn't feel like sacrifice. We always think of a sacrifice as being something we reluctantly give up. I think when we step into the freedom that God has purchased for us and truly place all of our trust in Him, sacrificing becomes second nature and a way of life. Please don’t think of sacrifice as giving up all good things in life to just be miserable in the name of God. No, that isn't what God wants us to do at all, and I think some have heard the term “sacrifice for God” and have taken it that way. I think it’s more of an active obedience to His will, sacrificing ourselves and fleshly desires for His, so that real love can be embodied in us and toward others. Jesus said, ”No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded" (John 10:18). Jesus is the perfect example of trusting God completely and sacrificed exactly as His Father had commanded Him, voluntarily.

What does expressing our faith sacrificially mean for us today? With family, friends, co-workers, strangers? I think the world is dying to see the kind of faith that expresses itself through love. The kind of faith that produces love that can only be sacrificial.  Let us continue to trust God completely – that way we can live in the free manner that we were meant to – in sacrificial love.

How God Sees Us

I think it's about time that we as God's people catch up with Him in how He sees us. The Lord has given me incredible insight into this in the past year, and I praise Him because it's nothing I would have thought of or believed without Him. Understanding how God sees us is not a bottom line, it is the beginning of how we should in turn see ourselves.

Before going into God's and our own view of ourselves, I want to acknowledge first the fact that we have an enemy and we live in a broken world. The two go hand-in-hand and are the sole reason we believe wrongly about ourselves. As God's people, we often walk afraid, unsure, and lacking confidence. We believe lies that we are not good enough or that we must prove ourselves to others each day; if we don't, our world may come crashing down. It's quite remarkable that even in churches there is a lack of conviction, not that we are sinners saved by grace, but that we are the righteous called into holiness: God's royalty. I believe firmly that the devil's stronghold is keeping God's people in a place of false identity and humility. Again, I am acknowledging this because it's important to first acknowledge why so many do not know how God really sees them and who they really are.

Now the fun part. Did you know that God sees you as wonderful? Did you know that His will for you is really good stuff, and that He believes you can do anything because He knows who your God is? Did you know that the instant you proclaimed Christ as your Savior and received the Holy Spirit, God marked you as His beloved who reflects Christ's holiness?

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1). And everything He created, He claimed as good. He delighted in every single thing that He made (He knows how good He is!), and I would argue that God's greatest creation is mankind. Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." (Genesis 1:26). Through simply reading this I would say that God was proud of the people He had made and wanted them to have dominion over everything. God has a heart and His heart for His people has always been greatness.

So, why do we live as if this is not true? The previous paragraph about the enemy's schemes gives good insight, but it's important to also state that his power is extremely limited, especially against the power of Christ that lives in us. We are not unaware of his schemes. We know that we are beloved children, created for great things and a close relationship with God. Even when we were deceived and messed up, God sent His Son Jesus Christ as the ultimate answer to all of our problems. And through Him, we are redeemed to God completely. That means that God now sees us the way that He saw us in the very beginning before shame existed among us.  Colossians 1:20-22 says, "And through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him."  We are holy, blameless and above reproach before the God of the universe. That, my friends, is real truth and is what we need to understand and let settle into our hearts.

During this season of remembrance and celebration of Christ's death and resurrection, let us also remember that through Him we are not only saved, but we are completely accepted by Him, and He thinks we are great. We were created in His awesome image for Pete's sake! So, let us thank God again and again and again for providing the Way for us to be His beloved kids again. And next time we think little of ourselves, remember that the Lord thinks highly of us, and who are we to challenge what the Lord thinks. It is the truth. He thinks we're wonderful because we are. He calls us royalty because we are. He says that He loves us because He really does. And this is what our identity must flow out of. Let us go forward being who we really are, and thinking as Christ does about us and others. Amen!

Incomprehensible Love

I like to ask God what He wants me to write about when I write. It's important because I want to be His hands, His voice, His feet in this world. When I do ask, I'm expecting God to say something specific or "super spiritual", He usually just says, "My love". I think that's because God really wants us to know who He is and what He's like.

A very well-known and popular verse in the Bible is 1 John 4:18, which states that God is love. This Greek word for love is "agape". Agape is a different type of love; different from other translations that mean brotherly love or close friendship. This love means self-sacrifice. One writer defines it as the willingness to forgo personal pleasures or undergo personal trials in the pursuit of increased good of another. It is the act of exalting others no matter what; no matter if they seem to deserve it or not. No matter if they screw up or don't appreciate you. It is an act of exalting them and counting them worthy of sacrifice and service. That is the kind of love that describes God: the essence of who He is.  

What if we lived like we knew this was true? What if, having been restored to God, we truly lived life like God is love; like He loves us in a sacrificial, unearned way? I bet we wouldn't walk around like He doesn't exist, or worse, that He does but that He could never truly love us. I bet our deepest longings would be stilled. I bet we would be more loving with others because we're so dang loved ourselves. I bet we would feel more inclined to go sit before God and talk to Him in a real and authentic way. 

I challenge us now to make the truth that God is love and that He truly loves us in a sacrificial way to be the center of our being. Let's not make our lives about trying harder because that is somehow going to make God love us more. Rather, let's slow down and talk to Him because He loves talking back to us. Let's spend time with Him. He is not above that -- He created us for that.

And now let's allow His word to do the rest of the talking:

"All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish,
Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob,
O little Israel,
For I myself will help you," declares the LORD,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 41:11-14

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8

True Love

But now, this is what the LORD says- 

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel;

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom, 

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give men in exchange for you,

and people in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'

and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'

Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth-

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made."

Isaiah 43:1-7

I don't really think I could possibly add to the richness and beauty of this text. It is the most beautiful love song, the most beautiful love poem that's ever been written. And it is addressed from the God of the heavens and the earth to His chosen people Israel: you and me. 

Since today is notably acclaimed to be the day of love, Valentine's Day, I wanted to meditate on what God's love for us looks like. According to the above text, if God were to shower down on us little candy hearts, they would say such things as 'you are mine', 'precious', 'honored', 'I love you', 'I'm with you', 'My glory'. 

The most amazing thing is that God really does speak to us like that every day, not just on the 14th of February. It may be through other's words and actions, seeing His beautiful creation when we wake up, experiencing the abundance of His favor and protection, or His strong, peaceful voice that we hear when we slow down to listen. He really loves us.

Read these verses a few times; let them soak into your spirit. Because God cannot lie and everything He speaks is truth (Hebrews 6:18), we can know and trust them to be true. And remember, the thing about truth is that it can never change. No matter how we're feeling or what's happening around us, it's real and it stands, never to be shaken, never to be skewed. So, delight in this love; for we are part of God's great nation Israel, and we are His.

Identity: Who and what defines you?

Identity has become an important word for me over the past six months. After returning back from being a missionary in the D.R. and finding myself very confused about where I stood in life and what I was doing, I began to discover the most amazing truth I will ever learn. The discovery and unfolding of this truth continues today, and is the most powerful and freeing truth I've ever known.

My identity, and yours too, who we truly are, is the sons and daughters of the living God. I have a feeling that for some that may be offensive, for others it may sound silly, and to others quite trivial or boring. However, if you know who God really is and what His Word really says, this truth is anything but trivial, boring, or simple; it is the most amazing reality in the world. And if we let it settle into our bones, becoming the truth that we stand on every day, I do believe that our worlds will change more than they ever have.

As I stated previously, I've thought a lot about identity over the past several months. Before, I don't think I gave the word a lot of thought; I certainly didn't analyze what it meant and how it completely affects the way people live. The truth is, it does. The identity someone decides to undertake in life completely controls the way that they live. I do realize that there are things about us that we cannot control. For example, I am a white, 27 year old female. I cannot control that; however, I can control whether those words simply describe my physical appearance, or become my identity. I have noticed that some people allow a description of themselves or what they do to define the core of who they are, and that seems very dangerous.

To me, identity is what you stand on, it's what defines you. In our North American culture, we typically use what we do, have, or like as as a term for identity. "I'm a real estate agent; I'm a stay at home mom; I'm a pastor; I'm a home owner; I'm a husband; I'm a singer; I'm a cook; I'm a dog lover."  No matter what people believe, no matter what their background is, they typically refer to these types of labels to define their identity. As I said previously, this can be very dangerous because each one of the previous things can change. They are not something to stand on because they may not always be there. When the things that you base your entire identity on change, what happens? Maybe you've experienced that yourself; I know I have.

The greatest beauty about being God's sons and daughters isn't that this truth will never change, although it won't. The greatest beauty about this identity is that we get to walk through life knowing that our Father is the most loving, perfect, and powerful being in the universe. We get to wake up every day knowing that this perfect, powerful love He has for us will never change, and that it doesn't depend on us at all; it totally depends on Him. We get to believe that He has chosen us, that He wants us, that He would, and did, give up everything for us. I don't know about you, but being God's daughter sounds much more exciting to me than a 27 year old single female who likes to sing and is trying to learn how to cook. That sort of describes me in part, but is nothing compared to the truth and unwavering reality that I belong to God, and that He is a perfect Father.

This is a beautiful description of our reality as stated by the Apostle Paul in Galatians 4:4-7:

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

Again, Paul talks about our sonship and what God has given us in Romans 8:16-17:

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

I don't know which is more exciting- that we are God's children or that we are His heirs! It doesn't really matter because both are true! I cannot think of anything more wonderful. God's will, what He desires, is that we are His children and that we reign with Christ in His kingdom forever. My prayer is that God reveals this to us more and more, and that it becomes even more of a daily reality.

So, let's rejoice in the fact that we are God's children! Let us not say it oh so casually because it is something we have heard a lot in our lives. Let this powerful truth rule every part of us; may it become realer than our job title, race, age, talent or hobby. Those things will never bring us to life; they will never satisfy. What is life-giving is the utter truth that we belong to the most perfect and powerful Father whose pure existence is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That is who He is and we are His; that is who we are.

And now to close, listen to your Father's words to you:

"Although you have been forsaken and hated, with no one traveling through, I will make you the everlasting pride and the joy of all generations. You will drink the milk of nations and be nursed at royal breasts. Then you will know that I, the LORD, am your Savior, your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob. Instead of bronze I will bring you gold, and silver in place of iron. Instead of wood I will bring you bronze and iron in place of stones. I will make peace your governor and righteousness your ruler. No longer will violence be heard in your land, nor ruin or destruction within your borders, but you will call your walls Salvation and your gates Praise."