Here are five of the main reasons why perfectionism is bogus.
1. Perfectionism causes anxiety. If our whole identity is wrapped up in how well we do things and how others perceive us to be, then we will constantly be in an anxious state. Every person on the planet has a different idea and definition of perfection; in essence, if we are striving to be perfect, our performance must change depending on the person we're interacting with or the situation we're in. No one can live up to the human standard of perfection. It's made up. So, to try and live up to this unattainable, made-up ideal is incredibly frustrating and only produces stress.
2. Perfectionism kills creativity and breeds cynicism. Creativity flows best when people are free. Stressed out, anxious people are not free. I believe that the fear of not doing it well or not being enough is what keeps many from stepping into their creative destiny. Creativity was never supposed to be about perfection. It was supposed to be an expressive process in which the artist gets to release part of themselves to the world. The inside gets on the outside. But if people are scared to show their true colors (which are quite beautiful) for the fear that they won't be right or good enough, then creativity will never happen. And I believe that each one of us is creative. We were created to create, and when we don't create at a high level, we are not being true to who we are.
3. Perfectionism causes a lack of intimacy. Being intimate with someone means letting your guard down so they can see all of you - the good, the bad and the ugly :). It's possible to have a relationship without intimacy, but it will never be as fulfilling. If we live with the belief that we need to do things perfectly and have it all together to get love and acceptance, we will never let our guard down, and we will never let the other person see the real us. Sharing ourselves through intimacy only strengthens our relationships, while putting on a mask and pretending to have it all together (being "perfect") only stifles their growth.
4. Perfectionism stunts personal growth. True personal growth happens when we are honest and open about the areas of our lives that need improvement. Change and evolution can't happen to something that is hidden. If we are scared to show weakness and be less than some standard of perfection, we will never be vulnerable with ourselves and others, thus stunting growth in the areas of our lives that need it the most. There have been areas of my life in the past that I wouldn't confront, talk about, or even acknowledge out of shame, guilt and fear. When I began opening up about these things, I began to experience true transformation that I'm enjoying the fruits of even today!
5. Perfectionism binds us. Freedom is defined as "the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint." If we want to be free, we can't hold ourselves to an unreal standard of perfection. So many times we don't do, say, or believe the things we want to because we are scared of not doing it right or being enough. The truth is we were created powerful and free; it's one of the beauties of being human. Living in any way less than that means we are not being completely ourselves and living life to its full capacity!
These are just five of the many reasons why perfectionism is bogus. But don't worry! In my next blog, I will elaborate on different ways to become free of perfectionism. I'm still working on this myself and very much journeying with you. So, let's do this together! Let's be ourselves - perfect without being perfect.
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